People With Strong Self-Respect & Low Tolerance For Ridiculousness Almost Never Do 4 Things
Ivan Moreno sl | Shutterstock How we think about ourselves and talk about ourselves directly affects our self-confidence, so the more positive we are, the more we fully accept who we are, imperfections and all. Brain health expert and podcast host Jericha Szlo shared a list of things she’ll never do after becoming more self-confident and learning about the neuroscience behind self-love.
People with self-respect and no tolerance for ridiculousness rarely do these things:
1. Talk poorly about themselves
Szlo declared that she’ll never speak badly about herself, either out loud or in her head, even for just a second. “How you speak to yourself forms your identity, and your identity creates your external reality, and the brain doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s not,” she explained. “So, it doesn’t know that you don’t mean what you say.”
In a separate post, Szlo dove deeper into why negative self-talk is so damaging, noting that it’s a common habit that can be very hard to break.
She touched on the way people might justify talking down to themselves as a form of self-deprecating humor or constructive criticism, saying, “I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but your brain actually doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s not. Your conscious mind does … but your conscious mind only controls 5% of your brain power and has very little say in what you actually perceive.”
Szlo revealed a tool that people can utilize to boost their positive self-talk: “Visualization is one of the most powerful manifesting tools, because your brain doesn’t know what’s real and what’s not. So, it actually starts to shape new neural pathways and change your physiological state and change your identity and actually get you to act upon things differently than you would in the past.”
“When you’re seeing things in your outer world, you're not seeing them through your eyes,” she continued. “So when you allow yourself to speak poorly about yourself, your brain thinks it’s the truth.”
A simple way to combat negative self-talk is to practice affirmations. The more you tell yourself what you like about yourself, the more you’ll realize just how amazing you are.
2. Let people into their lives who don't deserve to be there
Szlo’s next step in cultivating self-worth was based on who she lets into her life and what energy they bring. She doesn’t form close connections with people who drag her down or deplete her. She welcomes only people into her life who treat her the way she wants to be treated because she knows she’s worth it.
She explained that accepting negative behavior from others means “accepting that how they treat you is true to your self-worth.”
“Even if right now, you are someone who knows your worth and you think that because you know your worth, this won’t happen, if you accept that behavior from others, over time, this will start to shift your neural pathways from someone who has high self-worth to someone with low self-worth,” she said. “You’re exposing yourself to consistent behavior that speaks to low self-worth.”
3. Seek outside validation
EF Stock | Shutterstock
People who truly respect themselves know their self-worth comes from within, so they don’t look for approval in others' opinions, even those closest to them. Szlo revealed a major truth about the human experience, saying, “At the end of the day, you only have yourself.”
“People you love, whether it’s friendships, relationships, family members, can come and go at any point in time,” she said. “The only person that you will forever be in the presence of is yourself.”
While this might seem scary, Szlo framed the concept in a positive light. By acknowledging that we are our own best support network, we can build the kind of life we want to live, the one that nourishes us most.
“When all is said and done, the only peace and freedom that I feel from within is the peace and freedom I created for myself by living my life the way I desired,” she concluded. We can only truly live for ourselves, and the sooner we accept that truth, the more we can bloom.
4. Base their value on what they look like
Szlo’s final actionable technique for practicing self-love was based on separating how she feels about herself from her physical appearance.
“Whether you want to believe it or not, beauty is energy. It is not physicality,” she declared. “When someone shows up in the emotional state of confidence and security, which are subconscious beliefs, they radiate more beauty and more attraction than the picture-perfect model sitting next to them.”
True beauty comes from knowing who we are and accepting all our raw, messy parts that make up our whole selves. Taking small steps toward self-respect and being gentle with ourselves along the way is the best way to love ourselves completely.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture, and everything related to the entertainment industry.
