4 Things That Create A Genuine Soul Connection To The Person You Love, According To Experts
Synchronize your brains, and forever entwine your souls.
Azra Tuba Demir | Pexels A touch, a kiss, a hug, a dropped defense never used again. Tiny actions can go unnoticed and get taken for granted, but these seemingly insignificant habits are where we create true soul connections in relationships, and it's all mapped in our brains. A touch to a partner increases brain-to-brain synchronization between couples, as an EEG brain scan study of lovers showed.
Little, regular actions of love are the glue that bonds people together. Actions, like touch, release dopamine, and dopamine loves brain synchronization. When we are awake but at rest, the alpha waves in our brains signal relaxation or calmness. According to a 2024 study from The American Psychological Association, "couples exhibit significantly greater prefrontal alpha synchronization compared to close friends even in a non-interactive and natural context."
Here are four things that create a genuine soul connection to the person you love, according to experts:
1. Using gentle touch
Relationship therapist Reta Walker, Ph.D., says attachment extends beyond the words "I love you," and a couple with a strong bond reinforces their relationship through eye contact, engaged body language, thoughtful actions, and all forms of touch.
You might deliberately bump hips, linger your fingers unwilling to say goodbye, massage their shoulders, kiss tenderly or romantically, or snuggle. It is vital to make time to hug and hold for a few minutes.
Touch is "universally beneficial for psychological well-being," according to a 2020 study. "Touch was associated with greater well-being regardless of level of attachment avoidance, and less frequent touch mediated the negative association between attachment avoidance and well-being in most analyses. This underscores the importance of touch, even for those valuing distance and autonomy."
2. Dropping the defense
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Two things can create a strong bond, shares clinical psychologist Lesley Goth. One is to care about what your partner says to you, even if it is insignificant. Stop whatever you are doing, make eye contact, and engage in the conversation. The second, as a piggyback to the first, is to listen.
This seems to be so difficult for people to do. Defenses and needing to be right get in the way all the time, as explored by a 2008 study of "the triggers, core episode, outcomes, and contexts of defensive communication." If you want to create a safe and strong bond with your person, open your ears and listen to what they say. The ability to put your defenses aside and care about your partner's experience creates a deep bond and love.
3. Communicating early and often
Healthcare consultant Maitry Joshi knows it's the little things that make the most impact. Of all human bonds, the maternal bond, the mother/infant relationship, is one of the strongest. The maternal bond begins to develop during pregnancy; following pregnancy, the production of oxytocin during lactation increases parasympathetic activity, thus reducing anxiety and theoretically fostering bonding.
Good communication is a critical part of any relationship. When both people know what they want from the relationship and feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, it can increase trust and strengthen the bond between two people.
In short, a bond between people is a strong feeling of friendship, love, or shared beliefs and experiences that unite them.
4. Never stop kissing
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Therapist Gloria Brame, Ph.D., encourages a morning kiss and cuddle to start the day off right. It takes less than a minute, but the bond it builds can last a lifetime.
A 2014 study of how "hyper-brain networks support romantic kissing in humans" showed our brains link up during a satisfying romantic kiss. The EEG results of the kissing study also supported the moderating role of alpha brain waves behind the "neural mechanisms that support interpersonally coordinated voluntary action and bonding behavior."
The human bond can strengthen, empower, and nurture the individuals in a relationship, and our brains show it. When we take the time to practice and honor the little gestures and actions of love, we create a brain state for love to grow and replicate in every move we make.
Give those extra moments of love your undivided focus each day, let those alpha waves wash over your mind. Acknowledge and appreciate the subtle ways your partner strengthens your bond.
These are the ways people feel empowered, confident, and safe in their emotional attachments to keep the relationship alive and secure, as it is mapped in the waves of our brains.
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
