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Move along.
By Rachel Russo — Written on Oct 03, 2022
Today's single young woman is faced with a myriad of options for her love life.
Whether she lives in a big city or a rural area, she can use the Internet to find countless men who are looking for everything from casual dating to long-term relationships and marriage. She can go to singles events, attend events that aren't marketed as singles events but are really singles events, and even guarantee that she meets a set number of men at, say, a speed dating event.
Sometimes in the dating world, there is a paradox of choice. Too many options can lead women to believe the grass is always greener, that they'd be settling, or that they don't have to make much effort because there will always be a dream man waiting in the wings.
Despite all of these so-called options, there are plenty of single women that can't even find someone to go out on a third date with — let alone someone to put a ring on it.
Although I know that many young twenty-something women believe they have plenty of time to find their hubby, they are making dumb choices that rob them of their prime marriage-hunting and baby-making prime.
Let's face it, men like to marry young women, and if a woman wants to marry well, she is most "marketable" before the age of 35 when her clock is not past ticking.
The best advice I can offer any young woman who'd like to marry a fabulous man that will treat her well is to stop wasting her youth on jerks.
Ladies, take an honest assessment: Do you know an a**hole when you meet him?
I've known a secret that was recently revealed in Amber Madison's new book, Are All Guys A**holes? for some time.
Namely, there are two types of men that aren't worth even a second of your time:
1. Pretend A-holes.
There are truly good men who grew up with or acquired the belief that showing their feelings and being too affectionate and open with women is emasculating and a turn-off.
A lot of times, they've been burned and decided they need to be more in control of their emotions and could do so by putting up a tough-guy exterior. Often, their fathers are a**holes.
They will not lead you on if they know you are looking for a serious relationship, but they will do things that make you question just how into you they are. They think women actually like men who act like jerks, and that nice guys finish last.
2. True A-holes.
As Madison writes: "A real a**hole is a guy who doesn't want to do anything with you that doesn't take place in his bed or in his couch, even though you want something more. He's the guy you're really into, have been seeing for months, but won't let the relationship progress or fully commit."
Unlike the pretend a**hole who may wait a few days to call so not to appear overeager, this true breed of a**hole won't even call you. Unless he wants something. Or is drunk. And most frequently, when he is drunk and wants something.
True a-holes will lie to you, manipulate you, and make you think they love you just to get sex. Naturally, their fathers are also a-holes.
Of course, knowing about these two types of men is not enough.
If you want to be on the track to marriage, you must be a smart woman who knows how to distinguish between the two. Once you identify a true asshole, you must stop letting him into your heart and your bed.
This gets tricky — but there are always signs. Look for the red flags, listen to your gut, and when in doubt, run him by me!!
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Rachel Russo is a dating and relationship expert, matchmaker, author, speaker, image consultant, educator, and marriage and family therapist.
This article was originally published at Status Makeover. Reprinted with permission from the author.