Gen Z Men Often Experience An Uncomfortable Emotion That Keeps Them From Settling Down
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock A survey found that Gen Z is choosing not to settle down. Not because they don't want to, but because they are experiencing a rather uncomfortable emotion tied to their finances.
For so long, men were expected to be the providers, and it was defined as the most important part of adulthood. With the cost of living as high as it is and women not only in the workforce in large numbers but also earning enough to support themselves, men are slowly starting to wonder what their purpose is.
Gen Z men struggle to feel like providers and it's keeping them from settling down.
For Men's Mental Health Month, Talker Research and Beyond Finance polled 2,000 men to investigate how money difficulties and societal pressures have impacted their well-being. According to the findings, over three-fourths of respondents (77%) said that growing up, they were taught that a man's primary role within his family is to be the financial provider.
That notion might be outdated, but the societal impact holds. Men, despite a modern lifestyle looking very different than it did when they were the sole breadwinners, are still saddled with a provider stereotype, and it extends beyond just financial obligations, although those seem to carry the heaviest burden.
A whopping 70% of young men feel that it's harder to fulfill the role of being a financial provider today, especially compared to their parents' generation. More than a third of respondents (35%) admitted that their financial burdens are negatively impacting their mental health, and nearly half of Gen Z men said their mental health has taken a significant dip because of money.
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"What stands out to me in this data is the silence. Men are carrying enormous financial and emotional weight, and most of them are carrying it completely alone because asking for help feels like proof that they’re failing," explained Nathan Astle, client financial therapist at Beyond Finance. "That silence isn’t stoicism. It’s suffering, and it’s where a lot of the real damage to men’s mental health, relationships, and sense of self actually happens."
Most Gen Z Men feel like they can't even talk about their financial struggles.
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Over half (56%) of men surveyed confessed that, in the past, they’ve avoided discussing financial worries with others because they felt that they should "have it handled." But this has only led to 58% feeling isolated, only adding to the loneliness epidemic so pervasive among the cohort.
"What the data shows is a profound disconnect. Men are privately rejecting the very standard they feel publicly forced to meet. Most men don’t want to be defined by their income," Astle continued. "They want meaningful lives, strong relationships, and a sense of purpose. But somewhere along the way, nobody told them they were allowed to want that instead."
Because of how Gen Z men feel about their finances, their desire to settle down is starting to wane. That's also being exacerbated because Gen Z women are not really trying to date men based on the expectations their parents had when they were dating.
Gen Z women aren't looking at men to be providers anymore.
Marriage is not the goal anymore for young women. It's an added bonus to life should it happen, but it's not necessary for survival anymore, and that new reality has young men and women drifting apart.
That's mostly because men don't really know where they fit anymore. A majority of young adults no longer expect men to lead in dating and to pay for dates.
About 6 in 10 Gen Z men and women say that dating responsibilities, including paying for dates, should be shared equally, while about 40% say men should cover the bill. On top of that, the traditional "men as breadwinner and women as caretaker" ideology is not what most of Gen Z believe.
Instead, more than 80% of Gen Z women say couples should divide work and home responsibilities in whatever way works best for them. But for Gen Z men, many can't seem to let go of the gender roles drilled into them. Gen Z women, though, are becoming a lot pickier when it comes to the men they are dating, and that pickiness is adding to the insecurity that men are feeling.
Until Gen Z men and women can get on the same page about what they each expect from their partners, the divide will only continue to grow. The disconnect will only leave both Gen Z men and women feeling deeply understood when they're only looking for a fulfilling and healthy relationship.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
