Women Who Are Losing Their Capacity To Fight For Their Relationship Often Say 11 Phrases To Get A Man's Attention
Tiko Aramyan | Shutterstock Relationships naturally go through ups and downs. But when a woman starts feeling unloved or emotionally disconnected for too long, it doesn't just fade into the background, it shows up in the things she says to get his attention.
When love starts to feel one-sided, women don't always come right out and say it. They drop clues and sound casual on the surface, but there's something deeper. If she regularly says these phrases, she’s likely has very little capacity left to fight for that relationship.
Women who are losing capacity to fight for a relationship often say these 11 phrases to get attention:
1. 'I just need a little space'
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Every couple needs their space from time to time, that's nothing new. However, if a woman is growing distant and constantly repeating this phrase, that's when her partner should recognize there's trouble. While needing distance can be beneficial, too much distance can weaken their bond and lead to issues within the relationship.
According to psychologists and researchers Julie and John Gottman, they found that couples should spend at least six hours a week together to foster and maintain their connection. So, while it's understandable why women feel the way they do, it's better to be upfront or, if all else fails, leave. Otherwise, they might unintentionally be wasting someone's time.
2. 'I don't feel like arguing anymore'
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A woman who's truly in love will generally put all her energy and effort into making a relationship work. However, after endless nights of wondering and crying, she'll stop trying to fight for the relationship. That's when she'll hope to grab his attention by saying she's done arguing.
When a woman is done arguing, just know that nothing can be redone to repair the relationship. Sure, couples can go to therapy and work through their issues. Yet, the reality is that it'll take a lot of time, effort, and healing to get a woman to open up and care again.
As most know, being vulnerable isn't easy. However, according to research psychologist Dave Smallen, Ph.D., "Vulnerability is essential for cultivating emotional intimacy, useful for resolving interpersonal conflicts, and for seeking support in challenging times."
So, while their partners might criticize women for being closed off, if she gave them her heart and they trampled on it, is it truly a wonder why they grew so cold? While vulnerability is necessary, it doesn't come easily for the majority of people.
3. 'You've changed'
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Listen, it's completely normal for people to change over the course of their relationship. It might be difficult at first, but if two people have been together for years, it's natural for them to grow into different people. With this in mind, there's a huge difference between changing naturally and changing entirely.
While they absolutely adore their partner, there's no denying that some people do a complete 180, causing issues in the relationship that can cause serious problems. After a while of trying to meet him where he is, now, and not getting the same in return, she's going to lose her capacity to fight for the relationship anymore.
4. "Things feel off lately'
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Call it women's intuition, but a phrase women often use when they're uncertain that they want to keep fighting for the relationship is "I don't know how to explain it, but things feel off lately." Whether it's their partner being secretive or passive-aggressive, women can sense energy without needing to think twice about it.
No, they don't intend to overanalyze their partner, but they just can't help themselves. Whether their partner is growing distant or being shady, women notice a change in behavior before their partner realizes it. Still, this isn't too surprising, given how observant women tend to be.
According to clinical psychiatrist Thomas R. Verny, M.D., because people's brains are wired differently, women tend to become more outgoing and observant than boys. So, if a woman is saying that 'things feel off lately,' they aren't just imagining it. Their intuition is screaming at them and telling them that something is wrong, and nine times out of ten, they are right.
5. 'I'm tired'
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On the surface, this phrase doesn't seem to mean much, but sometimes it means a whole lot.
After a long workday, the last thing a woman will likely feel is zesty and full-of-life. However, if a woman says this even after taking a nap or on a Saturday, her partner should probably be concerned. Usually, women only say a phrase when something is wrong. Mentally, emotionally or maybe just with the relationship.
Even though it can be super challenging, it's important for women who are struggling to find energy to fight for the relationship to voice their discontent. While it might feel easier to throw in the towel and respond with vague phrases, it's more important to be upfront and honest. Like it or not, no situation was ever solved by staying silent.
6. 'I miss how things used to be'
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Women aren't trying to be rude or nagging when they mention the past and the fact that they miss what used to be. Sure, it might seem repetitive and sometimes argumentative, but the reason she keeps saying it is because she's missing something.
Whether it's effort or time spent together, a woman who's no longer content in her relationship will be less focused on the present and more focused on the past. While reminiscing isn't inherently bad, hyper-fixating on what went right (or wrong) in the past isn't the best for people's mental health.
According to the Journal of Aging Studies, negative memories are associated with negative emotions. Still, don't feel too bad. The best part about focusing on the past is recognizing that there was a moment of happiness, and with effort, there can be another moment of happiness again.
7. 'I feel like roommates'
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Whether someone has been dating for a few months or a few years, one thing is certain: romance is important. Will it be steamy forever? No, but it should be more than just a besties relationship.
Unfortunately, this doesn't always work out in their favor as people change and grow comfortable in the relationship. What once started off with cute notes and home-cooked meals has turned into grunts and barely there side glances, yet, it doesn't have to remain
According to licensed clinical social worker Robert Taibbi, L.C.S.W., "Couples can become stale over time due to unresolved conflict and lack of shared interests."
Yet, this is why communication and dedicated time alone together is so important. He continued, "The keys are resolving old problems, tolerating strong emotions, and developing common interests."
8. 'Everything feels so stale'
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After being together for years, it's natural for couples to feel bored. That is, of course, if they haven't done the work to keep things fun. The effort people choose to invest can determine how long the relationship lasts.
That said, if a man stops trying and decides to give up or keep things the same, women often say something like "everything feels so stale," to get his attention. From the dates they go on to quiet Sunday nights, women can sense when their partner isn't as interested anymore.
It might sound like a reach, but every time their partner is on their phone or lies in bed playing video games, it's another crack in the relationship. It's not like women want all their attention, but a bit of attention from their partner, and effort is important.
According to a study published in Cognition, the more effort people exert, the more meaning they get out of it. So, if a woman says it 'feels stale,' spice it up. Not only will they appreciate it, but the relationship will feel more meaningful as well.
9. 'Do you even care?'
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As weird as it may be, some men forget that women are totally separate and complete human beings. Like men and children, women always want to feel loved and validated in their relationships. However, as the years go by, it's easy to forget that marriage or a long-term partnership requires ongoing effort.
And while their partners might not mean any harm by it, a phrase women only say when they're trying to get a man to pay attention is "do you even care?" Sorry, but if someone is showing through their actions that they don't care, women are naturally going to assume the worst.
From zero effort to snarky remarks, women pick up on everything and use the gathered evidence to determine how their partner truly feels about them. So, while it might be frustrating, it's important that partners put in effort and show through their actions that no matter what, they're still in love with her.
10. 'You wouldn't notice anyway'
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Sorry to say, but if a woman ever says, "You wouldn't notice anyway," just know that the relationship is in risky territory. Not only is she sick of trying, she's losing all capacity to fight for the relationship at all.
Sure, everyone has their bad days, but there's a big difference between a woman having an off day and showing outright resentment and total frustration.
This is why it's crucial to change course whenever a woman says this phrase or any phrase similar to this. While this might be the new norm, it's also a huge sign that the relationship is nearing its end. According to the Gottman Institute, resentment is a form of contempt, and contempt is the leading cause of divorce.
11. 'I feel so alone when I'm with you'
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It's not an insult, but one of the most hurtful things someone can say to the person they're in a relationship with is "I feel so alone when I'm with you". Ouch. It hurts because it's not mean, but reflects enormous pain caused by the other.
Now, if a partner doesn't hear this and immediately think of ways to bring a sense of connection to the relationship, they don't care. If, at this point, she says this and can't get his attention, it's time to pack it up.
While isolation doesn't seem like a serious issue when someone is in a romantic relationship, research shows there's a link between isolation and depression. Yes, even when you're married.
That being said, some partners might want to help, but simply don't know where to start. If that's the case, try being vulnerable.
Psychotherapist Nancy Colier states, "True connection happens when we can communicate from our vulnerability, our hearts--not our stories and protective mental layers. It happens when we dive into life together rather than standing on the shore, safely commenting on it."
Once she's lost her capacity to fight for a relationship and has tried time and again to get him to pay attention (and failing) there's only so much further she'll go.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
