Women Who Feel Mentally & Emotionally Drained In Their Marriage Usually Do 3 Things To Get Through The Day
perfectwave | Canva Social media obsession is no joke. If curiosity about the digital fantasy world conjured by TikTok, Discord, X, Facebook, YouTube, Snapchat, and other social media platforms erupts into a full-blown obsession, your life could take a dramatic and destructive turn.
A series of studies on social media use and mental health found that there are many social benefits to social media, but excessive use, especially among teens and young adults, can lead to serious psychological distress. And then there's the escapism factor: How many of us sink slowly into that blue light of our smartphones, drifting toward the fantasy world populated by our virtual besties?
Sometimes, that escape is a source of comfort or even excitement in an otherwise mundane day-to-day existence. But sometimes, our social media habits, especially in our marriage, are a visible sign that we'd much rather be somewhere, anywhere else, or that a partner is completely mentally & emotionally drained.
Mentally and emotionally drained women often do certain things to get through the day:
1. She chats up old loves
Do you notice you’re chatting up male high school friends or tangential professional acquaintances in a slightly flirty, slightly too intimate manner on your social media platform of choice? Are you liking or commenting on the content that these same individuals post more than usual?
How about sliding into someone’s DM whom you barely know? Are you obsessively checking to see if you’ve received a comment back or a like on your most recent post? Is all of this extending late into the night or early morning? Are you sharing things you haven’t shared with your spouse?
Are you hiding it from your spouse or pretending you’re communicating with someone else? “Yes” to any of these questions is a sign you’re looking for something in the wrong place. If you’re unsure, check your devices to see how much time you’ve been on social media, which platforms you’re using more often, and consider the targets of your attention. Directing more time and energy to men or women of special interest is a sign that someone's mentally and emotionally drained or that something’s probably missing in the marriage.
—Dr. Judith Tutin, psychologist and life coach
2. She becomes mentally and emotionally distant
Jose Calsina / Shutterstock
Destructive social media habits are those that take a woman away mentally and emotionally from her husband. They can include:
- Spending too much time checking social media when her husband is around
- Getting involved with groups and discussions during a time that could be used to be in her relationship with her husband
- Hooking up in one way or another with people she meets online
Some hookups can be safe and worthwhile, and some can lead her right out of the bedroom and the life she shares (or did share) with her husband. For example, Rita walked right out of her own life by not having any fun with her husband.
Caught up in debates on political and medical subjects, she spent more and more hours on social media. She insisted in couples therapy that it was her husband who didn't know how to have fun with her. He just came home, ate, and went to sleep. And intimacy, forget it.
Maybe all that was true, but it was also true that she spent many hours on social media while her husband worked in heavy construction on a 10-hour shift. Who was to blame? Rita? An exhausted husband? Social Media? The divorce court didn't care.
—Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, positive psychologist, author, filmmaker
3. Mentally drained women seek thrills and distractions in place of quality time
If any of us are spending time watching Facebook, TikTok, Instagram posts, or hours on YouTube watching entertainment rather than spending quality time with our partners, then there is clearly something missing in the relationship. Training videos, research, audiobooks, and such are different things. These are done with a purpose.
Sheer entertainment sought elsewhere is a strong indication that the relationship is not providing enough interest or enjoyment. For relationships to remain strong, and more importantly, to grow, they need to be a primary focus and never take second place to social media.
—Larry Michel, founder of the Institute of Genetic Energetics
Carter Gaddis is a writer and editor who spent 24 years as an award-winning sportswriter for newspapers in Florida and for various online publications, including ESPN, Parenting Magazine, and the St. Petersburg Times.
