Love

Why Love Is Messy But Beautiful At The Same Time

Photo: KIRAYONAK YULIYA / Shutterstock
man and woman

By Theresa Faughnan

Life is not a fairy tale. It is the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between.

When we’re in love, we might find that sometimes the messiest pieces of ourselves become unrattled. Often, we feel we need to hide this, keeping a neat facade.

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But we are here to tell you that you don’t need to do this — it’s okay for love to be messy.

Letting Your Guard Down

When we’re in love with someone, we want them to know all of the parts of ourselves. In fact, many people feel that the landmark moment of knowing they have found “the one” is when they’ve let their true colors and emotions show.

This can be unsettling and refreshing at the same time. A partnership is based on mutual support and the ability to rely on someone for anything that has happened or might happen in the future. So lean on your partner.

True Colors

When we first start seeing someone, we may keep our opinions and certain viewpoints to ourselves. As a romantic relationship develops, we may feel more comfortable with sharing these things.

A healthy relationship can exist amongst individuals even if their opinions differ. Arguments are not necessarily a bad thing; they can actually give you a deeper glance into one another.

So take each moment as it comes, decompress, and then come back to discuss.

Get Messy, Literally

Love is not picture-perfect. For example, it could look like farting during an intimate moment, falling in front of one another, or blubbering during your favorite cry movie. A loving relationship will take these moments in stride without creating further embarrassment.

Simply laugh it off and move on. Chances are you both won’t remember it tomorrow, and if you do, it’ll hopefully be a light-hearted replay. Another fun way couples can get messy is to try a new craft or recipe.

If this leads to a miniature food fight or getting paint all over yourselves, the laughs will make it worth the mess.

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Explore (Literally and Figuratively)

Life is all about adventure. With that being said, exploring new things with your lover can be fun but also nerve-wracking. So try some new food, go on a unique adventure, travel, or uncover your deepest fantasies.

Showing this vulnerable side of ourselves can definitely feel messy but is sure to bring the two of you closer.

Create Balance

When we first grow close to someone, we naturally want to spend all of our time with them. Still, it‘s important to remember that we need time for ourselves as well.

Whether that’s hanging out with friends, going to our favorite fitness class, or finding some solo reading time, there is no harm in finding the balance between personal time and time with your partner.

Life can be complicated enough on its own. When you add love to the mix, things can get even more complex. Love is messy, but the beauty is finding those special moments that carry enough joy to oversee all of the other slop.

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Theresa Faughnan is a writer and contributor to Unwritten whose work focuses on lifestyle, family, and mental health topics.

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This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.