Women Aren’t That Mysterious — We Just Want Men To Understand These 5 Things About Us
Achi Murusidze | Pexels Men love to say women are complicated. But honestly, we're really not that mysterious. Most of what we want is pretty straightforward. We just don't always say it out loud. Sometimes we assume you already know. Sometimes we don't feel comfortable spelling it out.
And sometimes we don't even realize it's a need until it goes unmet and suddenly becomes a thing. But when you break it it all down, what women actually want the men in their lives to understand isn't some unsolvable riddle. It's actually pretty simple.
Here are the five things most women want the men in their lives to understand:
1. Reassurance is important
It doesn’t matter if things seem to be going well on a romantic level or not. Keep reminding us that you care or what your intentions are. It’s so good for us to know and help us feel safe.
Research by the Gottman Institute explains that our brains are constantly scanning for signals of safety in our closest relationships, and without that reassurance, we physically can't open up or connect the way we want to. This also ties to findings on vulnerability, which can only happen when we feel safe first.
2. Getting consent is imperative
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There’s nothing like the first time being with someone. A fire of excitement is burning through your body and there’s an undeniable anxiousness that we all get. But nothing is more attractive when they stop and seek approval. It shows us you care.
Dr. Stan Tatkin, a clinical psychologist, explains, asking for your partner’s permission is about respect and showing consideration for them as an equal. He says that when you check, ask, notify, and get consent on anything that could affect your partner, it helps prevent misunderstandings and builds healthier, more respectful intimacy.
3. The awkward laugh we give usually means “no” or “stop”
If we awkwardly laugh and do not answer your question, that’s a no. We usually just feel uncomfortable telling you that. So if you ask us something and we laugh, or if you approach us and they laugh awkwardly, please leave us alone. We often have a hard time telling you that we are feeling awkward.
4. We’re often afraid of vulnerability because we think it’ll scare you away
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It’s sad but true. We have no problem opening up but men don’t always know how to take us so it can be very scary for us to do it. You need to show it to us to receive it from us if you want us to that badly.
Vulnerability is the single biggest driver of deep emotional connection, but most of us avoid it because we're terrified that being fully seen will lead to rejection, Brené Brown's research has found. That's why when a man opens up first, it gives us permission to stop protecting ourselves and actually let him in.
5. Because of other men from our past, we might assume you won't be good to us
Because we’ve had damaging experiences before we automatically assume you’ll be the same so it is often up to you to change that for us. We have a slightly unexpected expectation that you know you will have to prove it to us, even though we know you’d never guess. An effort to prove us wrong will make a difference.
Being a woman in today’s times we feel empowered and encouraged to speak up and be proud, yet we still have such a fear of being hurt. It’s important to remember that the problem can only be solved by communication from both of us or else we can pull away.
Brittany Christopoulos went to Seneca College for broadcast journalism, where she mastered the art of television and radio announcing. Aside from balancing a busy schedule, she loves to volunteer, attend every boyband concert imaginable, and of course, write.
