Heartbreak

The One Lesson That No One Can Help You Learn

Photo: Alin Luna / Pexels & Deyan Georgiev via Canva
heartbroken woman

By Laura Van De Walle

As a kid I often thought my parents were harping on me, or talked for far too long about why I should think this, what I should do here, and when I should feel this.

I always knew they were trying to help me, but I never quite understood just how important some of these lessons would be.

In hindsight, I now see the various lessons my parents tried to teach me over the years.

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They told me to never cross the street without looking both ways, to use my manners and be kind, and to treat others as I would want to be treated.

The part they forget to teach you is what to do when the person you love treats you badly, when they take you for granted and leave you with a whole lot more questions than they do answers.

When they treat you with such little respect that you start to see yourself diminishing through their eyes. They forget to prepare you for the one person who makes you feel unworthy, unwanted, and undeserving.

Our parents and guardians try to teach us everything they can about life in order to make us prepared and ready for any challenge we might face. Yet they are unable to prepare us for some of the biggest obstacles we all face, one of these being a broken heart.

How do you go about explaining to a child, a teenager, or even an adult, how it feels to have your heart break? No matter how many times someone warns you, we all choose to believe in someone until somehow proved otherwise.

Until you’ve experienced it yourself, it’s impossible to explain the gut-wrenching, hands-shaking, unimaginable pain that you go through the second someone tells you that you’re no longer enough for them.

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There's nothing you can do to prepare yourself for the time it takes to heal, the tears you shed, and the part of you that changes forever after your heart is broken.

All you can do is cling onto the people who cared enough to teach you what they could and cherish those who don’t mind sitting patiently with you as they help pick up your broken the pieces.

What I didn’t realize for a long time was the small things that my loved ones had tried to do all along — the lessons behind the lessons. Each time they were telling me to look both ways before I crossed the road, they were telling me to be safe because that meant I valued my health and safety.

Each time they told me to treat others as I would like to be treated, they were telling me to find joy in loving others, because in return I would find joy in their love.

Each time I forgot to listen to the meaning behind their winded spiel, they were just telling me to have faith in myself.

Although it might be impossible to prepare someone for the losses they experience in their lives, it is essential that we teach everyone the one thing that can keep them safe, healthy, and happy, and that is to love and take care of themselves.

It can’t prevent you from being hurt or broken, but it can make pulling yourself back up and finding your way back to happiness even a bit easier.

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Laura Van De Walle is a student writer and a contributor to Unwritten. She writes primarily on topics of health, self-esteem, and relationships.

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This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.