The Big Lesson A Famous Actress Learned At Age 70 And How It Can Help Anyone, At Any Age
kondr.konst via Shutterstock With a list of Hollywood acting credits spanning decades, Linda Purl has learned one crystal clear thing about life and success. This one principle is her leading edge to living an accomplished life, on-screen and off. And don't worry, it doesn't involve a beauty serum or a weird exercise program. It's a simple philosophy that has guided her to a healthy, happy life.
Once the curtain rises and the stage lights are on, you have to be ready for action. She helps all of us look ahead to our lives at 70 by applying what she's learned, as she discussed with Andrea Miller on the Getting Open podcast.
The big lesson Linda Purl learned at 70 and how it can help anyone, at any age
Purl's been an actor on stage and the silver screen. Then she wanted to write a book, but no one was interested in publishing it, so Purl asked, "If not now, when?" and published it herself on Amazon. This is symbolic of many aspects of her life, where she seized what she wanted.
A Peek Behind the Curtain: An Actress' Life on the Road tells the tale of her six-month theatre tour in the UK that dealt with pandemic dropouts and hurricanes, but the show must and did go on, especially when hilarity ensued across the English countryside while performing eight shows a week in over 20 venues. The story gives a rolling example of all the answers to her big question, "If not now, when?"
Why is an actor the best person to share this lesson?
Actors and other performers know a lot about adapting to the changes in life. Performers know well that it is not about preparing for "if" something goes wrong, it is preparing for "when" something goes wrong, because there will always be uncontrollable elements you can't avoid, especially in live performances. So rolling with the "oopsies" is part of the performer's skill set.
'Once the curtain goes up and the show has begun, that's it'
Nobody lives forever!
Purl knows things will go wrong at some point, and adapting to it as though nothing happened makes a performer more than ready when it comes to aging. We have to carry each other, forgive each other, remember that some leaps forward are tiny and some are huge. We have to keep going since there really is no other reasonable choice.
'It's do or die together'
"You're on your own, you and your playmates. It's do or die together," explains Purl of doing live stage performances. "You have to carry each other, forgive each other, and urge each other along. When you screw up, just keep going. No matter what."
This is what has given her such a vibrant, long life along with her partner of many years, actor Patrick Duffy.
At the end of the day, Purl found acting and life really were, and continue to be, a series of lessons. Yet, when we face life's lessons with resilience and do our best to be like water and just keep going, we don't get in our own or each other's way. This was the big lesson for Purl, who always found a way forward while performing live on tour. Sometimes being able to keep going means you need to make a big move, 20 steps away. Other times, it only takes a tiny step. But either way, you know what to do if you step to it.
If you don't step to it, who will? If no one steps to it, in the moment, without thinking and planning how to do it, the show on stage is no longer going. The show has paused, and no one wants that.
With trust, you can solve almost anything — together
On stage and in life, low trust usually ends with low performance, and low performance further decreases trust. However, with high trust, even if there is less performance, there is still a good exchange because there is trust. With trust, as Purl says, "it's like anything's possible," so the trust builds higher performance.
Without trust, you are doomed. When something goes wrong, we aren't ready to roll with it, and might as well drop the curtain right there. Yet when you are synced up with trust and confidence, even if the whole stage collapses, you will fall in synch and in character. The show continues because of you.
To have a beautiful, long life full of love and fun, we have to invite other people in to "play", to adapt, to enjoy it together. Just like on the stage.
Beta endorphins have a part
Beta endorphins are released when people connect.
Beta endorphins are different than a dopamine connection, though they share similar effects of pain and stress reduction and an increase in feelings of pleasure. Beta endorphins are released when we are singing together or moving together, as in dance or athletics, or when we're in joyful crowds together, as in live entertainment.
This is part of the reciprocal emotions that performers and audience will feel to fuel or fizzle a performance. These beta endorphins increase our quality of life. Not just in increasing connection and making life together feel good, they can even help us feel healthier by reducing the toxic effects of stress.
Sometimes you have to manufacture the fun
If a live show starts to fizzle, you have to step to it and switch it up. Otherwise, you are left with a bored audience and a canceled tour.
When a performer steps into it, in the moment without thinking about it, they stay in character, the show goes on, and they have taken control of the outcome for the better. The audience feels it, and the performer feels the audience feels it, but the performer has to realize the need to change the flow and do it.
It's the same with life. If you have lost a sense of fun, you have to find a way to take control of the script and change the direction. "If not now, when, if not you, who?"
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
