5 Forgotten Activities From The 1990s That Actually Build Strong Families
melissamn | Shutterstock My husband and I work hard to carve out time for each other in our busy lives. We cook together, we do the couch potato thing and watch Netflix together. We even make a weekend activity out of visiting open houses. We also knew that this relaxed bonding will change once we had kids. Family activities are different now than they were in our Generation X childhoods.
We come from close, tight-knit families and, despite my mother's failed attempts to institute Family Fun Time several years ago, we both have fond memories of growing up — and growing close — thanks to regular family activities and events. It's important to us that our kids have the same sort of childhood.
But how can you make family bonding time an eagerly anticipated event rather than a desperately avoided one during the era of social media, movie apps and overscheduled kids? Look back on the 80s and 90s and our Gen X childhood for ideas to bond your family.
Here are 5 forgotten activities from the 1990s that actually build strong families:
1. Go outdoors
My entire family used to hit the bike trails together at a nearby park, almost every weekend. Yes, it sounds dorky, but my brother and I lived for it. The fresh air, the exhilaration that comes from coasting down a dip in the trail, the ice cream truck at journey's end.
If for no other reason than fun and health, find an outdoor activity you can share with your kids. Try hiking, pickleball, neighborhood walks or volleyball at the park or beach. You can go truly retro and put up a badminton net in your yard. You'll be surprised how much you bond when you're competing.
If you have teens, movement may even help them open up and talk! Joanna Schroeder, author of the best-selling book Talk to Your Boys: 16 Conversations to Help Tweens and Teens Grow into Confident, Caring Young Men, says teens are often more likely to share their feelings and experiences when their large muscle groups are engaged.
"Not only does side-by-side activity take pressure off teens by reducing direct eye contact," says Schroeder, "experts say activation of the muscles and rhythmic movement can reduce the stress hormones that keep tweens and teens guarded."
2. Learn unusual new skills together
Zoteva via Shutterstock
Two acquaintances of mine — sisters, thick as thieves — recently discovered the joys of hoop dancing. Naturally, they decided to share this new skill with the rest of their family. Even their grandmother got in on the act. Now they have picnics together, during which they always bring along the hula hoops. I love this. I love how close this family is, and I love how they decided, as a whole, to throw themselves into a completely new hobby together.
What new activity can you share with your kids? Check out local gyms and recreation centers for family-friendly sport, dance, or art classes. Or hit up a museum and develop a new interest that you can obsess over as a family, like impressionist art, photography, glass-blowing, or astronomy.
3. Share the hobbies you already have
The person I am today is a direct result of the people my parents were when they were raising me.
Because of my father, I'm into horror novels, geology, photography, and bowling. I devoured his collection of John Saul, Dean Koontz, and Stephen King novels, which he loved. I went with him to gem shows and to nearby quarries. I looked through our family photos again and again, and I joined a bowling league, just like him.
Because of my mother, I am into cooking and classic rock. She tried to get me to help out in the kitchen (that was an uphill battle, though I now love cooking far more than she does), and made sure my brother and I got to experience several Paul McCartney concerts.
With my own kids, I'll share with them my love of classical singing, cheesy dance music, contemporary literature, and belly dancing. Michael will share with them his guitar skills, his curiosity about both science and history, and his (somewhat snobby) love of obscure music. If these interests catch on, we'll always be able to share them.
4. Play games together
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A via Shutterstock
Despite what I said in tip number one, staying inside isn't all bad. On those lazy, possibly rainy, days, it can feel nice to just veg out in front of a family-friendly movie or play several rounds of ultra-competitive Monopoly.
Then again, if you and your mom are too competitive, your dad will never want to play again. Coincidentally, this is the same reason my husband will no longer play Boggle with me. This is all part of the benefits of old-school family fun. Expert research shows that board games help kids develop social skills, practice patience and even sharpen cognitive skills.
If your kids are into video games, Schroeder suggests taking a page from parents in the 1980s and 90s and play together. Yes, play their games!
"If you don't want to shoot aliens, ask your kids to show you how to play Minecraft or Roblox, or another type of game where the focus on building rather than conflict, she says. "Or simply open your mind to the games they like, even if they aren't your taste," she says.
"Playing video games with your kids not only gives you something to do together, it gives you reference points for when your kids want to talk about what happened during a game. Sometimes they need to share about something that happened during the game or with a player that is troubling them, and having a reference for how the game works can be helpful."
"Most importantly," Schroeder continues, "playing your tween or teen's favorite game together shows them that you're interested in what they like, which goes a long way with adolescents!"
5. Create a new tradition together
My mother built our family traditions around food. Every Christmas, we would bake five different types of cookies. Every Easter, we made pizza rustica.
I still carry on these traditions, even when my mom doesn't have the time. I spend days mixing up batter and scattering bits of sugar and coconut, and chocolate chips. I chop cheeses and pepperoni and make dough from scratch and roll out crusts. Labor-intensive, sure, but it wouldn't feel right to let these traditions go.
Your family traditions don't have to revolve around the holidays or food. Take a family vacation every year. Go bowling together once a month. Throw an offbeat party at your house, for Dia de los Muertos or World Nutella Day. Make a big deal out of Hanukkah or start a New Year's Day tradition of going for a hike or making a craft.
Follow these old-school ways to bond as a family regularly, and it will become something you can share as a family forever.
Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and editor. She's been featured in Playgirl, Time Out New York, American Curves, New York Press, Nerve, and other publications.
