Love

25 Ways Couples In Healthy Relationships Show Each Other Respect

Photo: getty
man nuzzling woman with flower crown

Respect is defined as "a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements."

Great and healthy relationships need high levels of respect on the part of both partners.

For those couples in a relationship who are less intentional and accomplished in this area, their lack of respect holds the partnership down to lower levels of well-being. Learning how to show respect is a must for both partners.

There are some simple steps you can take to stop any of the habituated patterns that are disrespectful, to replace them with more responsible ways of relating.

Although they're not necessarily easy, doing them with your partner enhances the level of respect that allows your relationship and partnership to thrive.

Here are 25 ways to show respect in healthy relationships

1. Tune in and pay attention by listening attentively to find out your partner's needs, desires, and concerns

2. Show that you notice their needs, desires, and concerns by acting on what you discover

3. Respond to what they ask for, and act on those in a timely fashion

Leave no room for procrastination; really show up. When your partner is direct with their requests, take influence from your significant other

4. Speak words of acknowledgment, appreciation, and gratitude

not only for what your partner does but for who your partner is.

5. Be careful to only playfully tease and not wound with sharp barbs

When using humor to enliven the relationship,

6. Only make comparisons to others for the purpose of calling attention to your partner’s strengths and talents

7. Never violate confidentiality

There are intimate details that only you are privileged to know

8. Work out differences during a conflict

Become a worthy opponent to carefully spar with your partner to 

9. When bringing a complaint, be careful not to go over the line to criticism

10. Replace cutting sarcasm with gentle language

11. Speak directly to your partner rather than sharing your complaints with others

12. Remove all forms of contempt, including rolling of the eyes

13. Remove any impatient and irritable tone from your communication

14. Be compassionate and reassuring when your partner makes poor choices

saying something like, "We all make mistakes and can learn from them."

15. Validate their offerings with encouraging words

like "You’re full of good ideas."

16. Make room for your partner's style

There are many ways to get things accomplished.

17. Assure your partner that there is room for many opinions

18. Support your partner’s choices whenever you possibly can

19. Acknowledge whatever level of financial contribution your partner makes to the family expenses

20. Acknowledge how much your partner contributes to you and the family on a non-material, emotional level

21. When you make an poor choice, apologize as soon as possible

22. Take responsibility for ways you harm your partner

and get busy learning from all breakdowns so that you don’t continue to harm your relationship.

23. Be quick to offer forgiveness when your partner makes poor choices

24. Tell your partner you are proud of them

25. Declare your respect

not only to your partner but also in front of witnesses.

Be sure to tell your partner that you are overjoyed with the partnership you are co-creating and how pleased you are to have a partner that is worthy of your respect.

When it comes to having a healthy relationship, you don't have to limit yourself to the 25 ways above. They are just a starter kit; you can come up with some splendid ideas of your own to show respectful behavior towards your partner.

If you follow these simple relationship advice, you have a right to expect that evidence will start to show itself of a more enriched partnership.

Don’t just take our word for it. Look to your own experience and see what you discover. And be sure to enjoy the exciting process as much as you can.

Linda Bloom, LCSW, and Charlie Bloom, MSW, have been trained as psychotherapists and relationship counselors and have worked with individuals, couples, groups, and organizations since 1975. 

This article was originally published at blogs.psychcentral.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.