5 Fun Ways To Reconnect With Your Spouse After A Stressful Day

You’ve just had the day from hell. Thinking about how to reconnect with your spouse might be the last thing on your mind.

Maybe you’re working from home and completely overwhelmed with Zoom fatigue while homeschooling your kids. Or maybe you’ve headed back to work “live” in an office, classroom, or hospital.

Most likely, all you want to do is veg out in front of some mindless TV or crawl into bed with a pint of your favorite ice cream.

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But — oh yeah — there’s this other person in your life who you actually love quite a lot. How can you rally your energy for your sweetie when you’re feeling totally depleted yourself?

Yes, it’s true that you could snuggle up together for some of that mind-numbing TV, or do the old rom-com movie trick of jumping in a bath together.

But wouldn’t you like to get a little creative?

Here are 5 fun ideas to help you reconnect with your spouse after a stressful day.

1. Surprise your partner with a sexy outfit (or none at all!).

The element of surprise is key here because it can shake both of you out of grumpy moods. If he’s home, find out when his last call or meeting is and plan a grand entrance into his office space. And if he’s walking in the front door, give him a greeting he won’t forget!

Then, see what happens from there. You'll be sure to spice up the evening together!

2. Make dinner together.

There really is something very intimate about cooking with someone special, giving each other little tastes or gentle strokes on the arm (or elsewhere).

Then, have a candlelit picnic in your backyard or the living-room floor.

The idea here is to be intentional about making it a sensuous experience and try not to get bogged down about how awful your day was. Just be sure to feed the kids and tuck them away first!

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3. Do some non-electronic activity together.

Those screens are seductive! Even after spending all day on a computer, you’re still drawn to wind down by texting, Googling, or playing video games.

Go ahead and get that out of your system, then circle back to your sweetie and be fully present and undistracted.

Pull out some adult coloring books and talk while you do it — you’ll be surprised at how relaxing it is. Or agree on a fun house project you’re both excited about — “fun” being the operative word here.

4. Write love letters and read them to each other.

Create a cozy setting somewhere you can both cuddle up, but not fall asleep — so, not in the bedroom. A nice couch where you can each stretch out and play footsies in the middle is perfect.

Then go to town — write about the traits you love most about your partner, your favorite quirks, the ways your spouse has grown or changed since you got married.

After you share them with each other, head to the bedroom!

5. Turn your bedroom into a love nest.

You can do this with music, flowers, yummy essential oils, and candles. Bergamot, chamomile, and lavender are classic aromatherapy scents for relaxation. 

Pick music that you both love. Choose flowers that have a personal meaning, like the bouquet he brought you on your first date. Roses are always a classic option, too.

Plan out how to reconnect with your spouse before a stressful day happens.

Yes, it might be tough to energize yourself to set this up at the end of a long, crummy day, but focus on the rewards!

The trick for any of these ideas is to think about them ahead of time, before you actually have one of those high-stress days. Buy that sexy lingerie, those coloring books, and essential oils now, so it’ll take minimal planning to actually pull it all together when the time comes.

Then sit back — or lie down — and enjoy the experience with your spouse!

Learning how to reconnect with your spouse can be fun and relaxing and give you something to look forward to after a long, stressful day.

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Relationship Coach Deborah Roth has been married almost 40 years to the same complex, wonderful guy and loves supporting couples in navigating the ebbs and flows of maintaining and nurturing successful, long-term relationships. To learn more about her work, you can visit her website or email her to schedule an introductory couples coaching session or to get a list of her favorite relationship books.