Additional Expertise
Specialties
About Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony
Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony, MA, LMFT #151788, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship coach, author, and podcast host who helps neurodivergent couples and individuals understand each other, and themselves, without blame.
She is the founder of Love on the Autism Spectrum, a telehealth practice for autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD adults, people living with complex trauma, and the people who love them. If you've ever loved someone deeply and still felt like the two of you were speaking different languages, Blaze has probably sat with a couple just like you this week.
Her specialty is the relationship that looks fine from the outside and feels lonely on the inside. The partner who keeps explaining the same need a hundred different ways. The partner who is trying so hard and still keeps getting it "wrong." The couple who keeps having the same fight in different clothing. Blaze helps both people see the pattern underneath, so the conversation can finally shift from "What is wrong with you?" to "Oh. That's what's happening between us."
She knows this territory from the inside. Blaze has been married to her high school sweetheart for more than four decades, in a relationship she now recognizes as neurodiverse. At 57, she discovered she is neurodivergent herself. It didn't feel like a diagnosis. It felt like coming home, and like finally having words for why love and life had always felt harder than they seemed to for everyone else.
Her path to therapy was anything but a straight line. She spent more than 20 years in corporate retail at Macy's, then built a career coaching women who were growing their own businesses. At 53, she went back to graduate school, earned her master's at Sofia University, and became a therapist. It's her third career, and the one she was wired for all along.
Blaze's approach is warm, plain-spoken, and refreshingly free of shame. She doesn't believe anyone in a neurodiverse relationship is broken or "too much." Instead, she helps couples understand how each of their nervous systems handles stress, sensory overload, conflict, and connection, then build ways of communicating that work for both brains. Her work draws on EFT, IFS, the Gottman Method, Brainspotting, CBT, and coaching, all adapted for neurodivergent minds, and it comes with a generous helping of self-deprecating humor.
She is the author of Unmasked Self-Acceptance, a book of 365 daily reflections for anyone learning to put down the mask and trust themselves again. She also created the Neurodivergent Spiral of Life, a framework built on a simple, freeing idea: life doesn't climb neatly up a ladder. We circle back to safety, connection, and repair again and again, and that isn't failure. It's being human.
On her weekly podcast, Love on the Autism Spectrum, Blaze talks about masking, meltdowns, burnout, sensory needs, and the everyday moments where neurodiverse couples love each other and keep missing each other. New episodes come out every Wednesday.
Blaze offers individual and couples therapy and adult autism and ADHD assessments in California, and coaching worldwide. Couples can also join The Love Lab, a small weekly group for neurodiverse couples, or the Balance & Bonding Retreat, a private two-day retreat for one couple.
When she isn't working, Blaze splits her year between Lake Erie in Ohio and the Pacific coast of California, ideally somewhere near the water with a good book.
To talk with Blaze, book a free 20-minute Clarity & Connection session at loveontheautismspectrum.com.
