Self

Why You Need To Stop Hanging On To Expired Friendships

Photo: MDV Edwards / Shutterstock
friends talking

By Julia Kahky

A few months ago, I went through a personal crisis.

My first phone call was to my best friend in Detroit, who immediately answered despite being at a social gathering.

She stayed with me on the phone as long as I wanted to talk and volunteered to fly down to Atlanta to comfort me. If I were a teacher, she would receive an A+.

I needed someone in person to take care of me, so I called the only friend I had made at that point, who said that she would come over immediately.

RELATED: How To Take A Break From A Friend Without Becoming The Bad Guy

When she arrived, she brought a man whom I had never met before and she was completely intoxicated. Her first question was, “Do you want food?”

I proceeded to inform her that I was so depressed that I had no appetite, so if she was going to order food, perhaps something light like a salad.

She spent the next 30 minutes playing on her phone while I conversed with this man — who, remember, I had never met before.

He consoled me and talked me through what I was feeling and helped explain why this had happened to me.

RELATED: 3 Signs Your Toxic Friendships Are The Real Cause Of Your Relationship Problems

About an hour later, the friend who had come over ran downstairs to pick up the food she had ordered.

When she brought it upstairs, she spilled a feast of chicken wings, French fries, pizza, and onion rings on my coffee table.

Advertisement Need someone to talk to? Get support from a licensed therapist at BetterHelp. Sign up today and get 15% off!

This was the exact opposite of what I had asked for. And I still had no appetite.

As I continued crying on my couch, she ate everything that she had ordered and continued to scroll social media on her phone as I talked to the man she had brought over.

It was at this moment that I knew I needed to get her out of my life.

RELATED: 50 Quotes About Bad Friends (That You Need To Get Out Of Your Life ASAP)

While it may seem important to hang onto friends because they were there for you in the past or made you feel welcome in a new place, it’s important to expel negativity from your life and foster positivity.

I believe in being truly kind and trusting to everyone, but there are some lines that just cannot be crossed.

If someone disrespects you or those close to you, you have every right to release that person.

The word “friend” derives from an Indo-European word meaning “to love.”

Friends should be people that you give and receive love to and from.

Just like most food has an expiration date, so too do friendships when they go bad.

RELATED: How To Know When It's Time To End A Friendship (& 4 Ways To Do So Appropriately)

Julia Kahky is a staff writer for Unwritten whose work focuses on relationships, lifestyle, and social justice topics. Visit her author profile for more.

Sign up for YourTango's free newsletter!

This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.