Should You Even Believe In True Love? Here’s What The Research Says

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What Is True Love? What Love Looks Like To Different People And Whether Or Not True Love Actually Exists
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By Natalie Trznadel

As women, we’re obsessed with romantic films and novels.

The belief that we are all meant to find “the one” has been ingrained in our minds since birth.

All of the fairytales we heard as children stuck in our hearts and ever since, we’ve been on the lookout for our one true love.

However, do we really believe in true love?

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Well, the research is mixed.

Many of us believe that true love means having the same image of love as our partners.

The tricky thing is, some people associate love with trust and devotion whereas others connect it with affection and company.

Ultimately, everybody defines love differently, so how can we find true love?

Researchers have also identified many different types of love.

Eros is considered romantic or intimate love.

Lust is considered to be more like game-playing love.

Then there’s Storge, which is connected with friendship and stability.

Finally, there are pragma or logical, mania or possessive, and agape or altruistic.

Intimacy is often associated with eros whereas lust is connected to ludus.

Stability is often at the center of storge and compatibility is all about pragma.

It goes without saying that mania means manipulation and agape is the selfless and all-giving type of love.

However, how do the different types of love connect with true love?

True love seems almost impossible to define, but leave it to the Internet to try to streamline it.

Here are four common explanations of true love, thanks to Reddit.

1. Love is about finding someone you click with

“Love is not some magical force binding two people together in a shared destiny. In my opinion, love is about finding someone you click with. Someone you enjoy being around. Someone you are willing to work with to overcome problems. It’s about finding a deeper connection beyond the butterflies and warm gooey feelings of infatuation. Love is something two people build toward together.” via Valkes

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2. Love takes a lot of hard work

“No. I believe in love for sure, but putting the word ‘true’ in front of it seems really naive. Relationships [require] constant hard work, [so] I think [that] it’s more important to consider the person as your true best friend rather than your true love if you want [your relationship] to keep working out.” via Wtknight

3. Love is two souls finding each other

“Yes. I have spent many years on this planet, have met hundreds of people and couples, have had my share of dates and relationships, and I can tell you, it’s there. It is rare. It is powerful. So when you find [true love], hold on to it. But, like any other thing in life, it still takes work … but it’s there. Why do I believe this? I’ve seen it. I’ve seen [true love] on the faces of two people who have endured many hardships, many joys, and many tears. It was watching them share the good times and the bad with such effortlessness. It was watching the “puppy love” between them continue throughout the years. Morerover, it was watching as one passed away … and the other would never be the same again. He had lost his love. His soul. His passion. And his friend. His companion. His true love. With that said, I also believe [that] there are quite [a] few “levels” of love and that there can be one or two [matches on] each level. Don’t give up. Don’t despair. Just keep moving forward. More often than not, [love] finds you. You don’t find it.” via kitsunecchi

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4. True love is unconditional

“Yes, I do believe in true love. When you truly love someone with all your heart and get the same love from them in return, that is … true love. True love is loving someone selflessly and unconditionally for life. A true partner always helps you in your growth, never suppresses you, and yes, supports you throughout. One will really feel positivity and moments of joy and happiness when you are around the one you love and adore the most. It’s the most wonderful relationship where you are free to fly.” via Aiandama_Babic

Nevertheless, if you ask around in your circle of friends, it seems that the majority of people don’t believe in true love.

However, it does not mean that it doesn’t exist.

True love can be a variety of different things – selflessness, trust, devotion, support.

It requires hard work and commitment, but it can happen.

Bottom line is that there’s no way of saying whether true love exists or basing your belief in it on what someone else says.

You have to decide for yourself and who knows?

Maybe one day, you’ll be able to say, with 100% certainty, that it does.

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Natalie Trznadel is a writer who focuses on love, relationships, and dating. For more of her love content, visit her author profile on Unwritten.

This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.