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As revealed by a professional matchmaker.
By Toni Bergquist — Written on Oct 09, 2017
It seems everyone is always looking for the answers to how men and women think when it comes to dating and love. We look everywhere for answers — whether it's reading relationship blogs, advice columns, going to astrologers and psychics, reading customized horoscopes, or turning to friends and family to help us figure it out.
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I'm also guilty of this; although, being a matchmaker has given me more insight into how men and women really think and feel about love and dating. I've found that we really want the same thing. Sorry, but there's no one way to a man's heart and no one way to a woman's heart.
We are all vastly different, which is why I'm sharing my top 10 secrets are straight from my five years as a matchmaker. Take it to heart, because it's all true.
1. Men and women write each other off way too fast.
If there isn't a romantic spark right away, it must not be a fit. It's a well-known fact that romantic attraction develops, but I've found that most people don't want to waste time.
2. A lot of young men aren't taught to be chivalrous...
And most young women don't know how to be open to it. Women want nice guys, but if they're too nice in the beginning it usually won't work.
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3. Women are just as picky as men.
4. Men and women want to get married.
But a lot of them can't describe what that looks like.
5. The preconceived notion of an "ideal mate" keeps a lot of people single.
You know what I mean: the picture we create in our minds that resembles the perfect man or woman who can "complete" us. She's not my type, he's not my type. I have to remind my clients that I personally know everyone I match them with and that a one-dimensional photo cannot possibly do him/her justice.
How do you know if you don't meet someone? A picture will never breathe life into how someone feels to you. But I swear most of the time, once they make up their mind, it's hard to change it no matter what I say.
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6. Men aren't any more rude or arrogant than women.
The days of blaming men are over! Women can be unbearable and they make it so much harder for men. It's like feminism on fire and it's more of a competition between the sexes.
If a man approaches a woman at a bar, sometimes they can be so rude; it's no wonder men don't ask women out organically. It's easy to understand why hiding behind a computer in lieu of face to face rejection would be the easier way to go.
7. Almost everyone thinks way too much.
Like, way too much.
8. Women say some pretty outrageous things on first dates.
I can't believe some of the things they say. The first date with a virtual stranger doesn't mean tell your worst stories or be vulgar. Or rude.
I once had a client call me after the first match with a beautiful girl who I had known for about a year. When he told me that she was describing what her vagina looked like to him over dinner, I almost died. Yes, she described it in detail.
Another time, a client took his match to a basketball game and the whole time she sat there getting wasted, telling him in elaborate detail how she had been hooking up with so many different guys and partying all the time.
There was also a girl who told a first date how badly she wanted children as soon as possible and put him on the spot. When the heart wants what the heart wants, common sense goes out the window.
9. Men are sensitive, emotional, and want and need love just as much as women do.
How this isn't common sense is beyond my comprehension.
10. Unicorns don't really exist...
Although, the dating matrix is really funny and we're all a little crazy.
Despite these truths, nothing makes me happier than finding my clients love and guiding them through this process. Love is and has always been everything.
This article was originally published at theagencysecrets.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.