What Does His Porn Collection Say About Him?

We read a statistic the other day. Something like "10 out of 10 men have admitted to masturbating to porn." Or maybe it was "100% of all men polled said they had masturbated to porn." Porn For The Blind

Point being: men (all men) like porn.

While, yes, some more so than others, and, yes, some claim to never touch the stuff (wink, wink), it's pretty safe to assume there was at least an errant Playboy floating around somewhere in his past.

So, it's only natural that us inquisitive and look-really-deep-into-everything ladies would wonder: what does his porn collection say about him? As if it's a dirty Rorschach blot or a Meyers Briggs Personality test dressed in fake boobs and bad acting. Is there a psychology behind his late-night (or mid-afternoon, whatever) double-clicks? Porn Camp To Open In Tampa

Lemondrop indulged us and even tapped a psychologist to help untangle this porno web.

Ian Kerner, PhD, author of Passionista and He Comes Next assures us that every man has a unique (heh) "lovemap" and, yes, there's something to be learned from what we find on his web browser's history.

If he's into drrrty schoolgirls and Barely Legal-type stuff:

"Guys realize that these aren't actual schoolgirls, but actresses performing a taboo—the 'naughty innocent,'" says Kerner.

Lemondrop then advises us to indulge him in his nymphette fantasies by wearing a "white-buttonup with a plaid mini", "call him daddy" and "make him talk you into sex" ("Are you sure I won't get suspended if we get caught?").

If he's into lesbian movies:

"Lesbian porn makes a guy feel like he's a voyeur and that he has a degree of power," Kerner says. "Also, guys are able to insert themselves into the scenario and to feel like he's at the center of the threesome."

So, the natural suggestion here would be to furnish your man with a threesome, right? Kerner advises against this and instead says you should masturbate in front of him. Eh, not the same thing—but it's something!

If he's into dominatrix themes:

"Many men feel like they always have to be in power and in control, or know it all when it comes to sex, so being able to submit to a woman is a strong fantasy. It could definitely mean that he'd like you to take more control in the bedroom, or that he'd like to explore this dynamic."

If he's into gay porn (ed note: uh oh!):

Kerner is surprisingly forgiving when it comes to finding man-on-man films, links or what have you in your boyfriend's possession. He actually goes so far as to say it doesn't necessarily mean he's gay. Hm.

"If all he's interested in is guy-on-guy, then you might want to think about how it fits in with other pieces of your relationship," Kerner says.

But, hey, if he jerks it to men on Wednesdays or late nights every other Sunday then everything is totally kosher. Right? Right?!