4 Man-Melting Phrases That Make Him Fall In Love
Harness the power of words for the sake of your love life.
PeopleImages | Canva Words are powerful. With a simple sentence, we can bolster, boost, encourage, or strengthen someone… And with a different choice of words we can shame, crush, undermine, destroy, or decimate.
After working with thousands of men from all around the world, I have compiled the following four phrases. Can words make a man fall in love? As in, take him from cold fish who’s never heard of you and turn him into a follow-you-to-the-ends-of-the-earth, slobbering love slave? No. No, they can’t. But the following four phrases can drastically increase the levels of love, connection, and harmony in an existing relationship.
One important warning before we get into the four phrases: These words are powerful… no doubt. But it is the congruence with what is being said that makes them work. In other words, if you say these words without believing them, they will fall flat. Now, you don’t have to believe them 100%, 100% of the time. There’s absolutely room for humans to be human here. But you have to solidly feel that the statement is true, at least a good percentage of the time, for it to truly land for your man. If you say it just to say it, he will be able to feel the difference. But if you say it, and you mean it, it will make his heart soar. Okay, ready for the four phrases?
Here are 4 man-melting phrases that will make him fall in love:
1. ‘I trust you.’
Deep down, the vast majority of men want to feel respected, honored, and above all, trusted. Not trusting a man… not trusting his word… when he has consistently shown himself to be trustworthy is a quick way to energetically castrate him.
Again, I want to do away with black-and-white thinking here. When I say that he needs to have been consistent with his word, I am not saying that for you to trust him he needs to have never told a white lie… or deviated from his truth in the slightest. Such rigid expectations don’t leave much room for the reality of being human, regardless of gender.
But if you know your man to be good, and you do have a deep trust in him, let him know. Tell him explicitly, "I trust you." This phrase doesn’t have to be stated during a big, sit-down moment while you’re both seated in the lotus position. You can simply slide it into the conversation when he asks you what you want to do for your upcoming date night and you honestly don’t have a strong preference.
"I trust you." If it’s true, or at least true to a significant degree in all of the ways that most matter to you — Let him know.
Photo: Goksi / Shutterstock
2. ‘I believe in you'
A man’s life, in many ways, can feel like a never-ending saga of slaying dragons (both internally, and out in the world). For such a man, spending time with his significant other can sometimes be the only time he can let down his guard, remove his mask, and be his fullest, most vulnerable self.
Due to this split (of needing to be "on" in the world and then coming home and showing more of his authentic self to his lover), there can be a subtle, underlying fear that his partner, his number one advocate, trusts him less because of how human he is around her.
To counteract this low-level fear (that most men either aren’t aware of or wouldn’t admit even if they were), it’s important to let him know that you believe in him. That you believe in his mission. You believe in his capacity as a father. That you believe in all that he is up to in the world. Again, only if it’s true. Let him know, directly, and watch him grow stronger like a bonfire with a fresh gust of wind at its base.
3. ‘I’ve got your back’ or ‘We’re a team’
Let’s face it… the world can be ruthless. In the default word of ego, there is a lot of dog-eat-dog, backstabbing, competitive toughness to navigate. Especially when it comes to the world of career and finance, many men can feel like they are charging into battle as an army of one daily.
Is it any wonder that it was common practice for men in the army to carry a photograph of their girlfriends/wives as they went into battle? Men want a Queen to do battle for. A good man wants to make your life as amazing as possible. He wants to fight for you. To improve the standard of your life daily. To be a support, and not a liability.
And while this lone-wolf, adventurous, battle of one appeals to the wild heart of many a man, they also like to know that, ultimately, it isn’t just them out there. That there’s someone who’s in the trenches with him, even if it’s just the spirit of you and your loving support.
For some women, "I’ve got your back" works as a phrase. For some women, that sentence sounds a bit too masculine and they think that men should say those words to other men. In those instances, "We’re a team," would be the equally powerful equivalent.
Letting him know, in no uncertain terms, that while you appreciate his heroic efforts that benefit you, your family, your friends, and the wider community… you are right there with him. This phrase is especially powerful for any man who leans more towards avoidant attachment, who has struggled with lone-wolfing it a bit too hard through life, or who had a patchy (or non-existent) version of family growing up.
4. ‘You're such a good man’
Ahh the all-powerful catch-all. Again, when you truly believe and can embody these words, they melt a man’s heart faster than just about anything can.
In a cultural time when being male is demonized, attacked, and scrutinized like never before, reminding your man that, in your eyes, he is a good one can do a lot for him. Say it on your next date night. Say it at the dinner table in front of your kids. Say it to him before you both drift off to sleep, at the end of a day when he has especially shown up well for you and your family. Say it directly and earnestly, and I promise you he won’t soon forget it.
Use these phrases as often as you feel them.
Because of the potency of these phrases, you don’t want to abuse them. Any technique can lose its potency if you lean on it as your default praise. But sprinkling them in every few weeks or months can do wonders for your relationship.
I hope that these phrases serve you well and that you use them responsibly.
Relationship coach and writer Jordan Gray helps people remove their emotional blocks and maintain thriving intimate relationships.