Dirty talking is not one-size-fits-all.
Oh, talking dirty. What a fun yet intimidating and hilarious topic all at the same time.
Why is "talking dirty" something we make a big deal about as if it’s a skill to learn similar to how we learn to hit a baseball or tie our shoes?
Sure, the concept of talking dirty to a man is an important one to know because this does come up in most sexual relationships, but it doesn’t have to be something you need to be anxious about.
If you cannot even think about talking dirty without getting extremely anxious and panicked, I want you to pause for just a moment and think about this logically: why would you ever want to?
I want to make a comment on the best "how to talk dirty" articles out there: these articles are sometimes informative but other times are a complete disaster.
Let me try to illustrate what a guy is thinking if and when you recite specific lines you think "turn all men on." Not all men are the same. What turns you on will not necessarily turn your female friend on. What turns one man on might turn another off.
Imagine you are in bed and out of nowhere, your man just starts blurting out phrases such as: "Do you like my c***?" or "You’re a dirty little whore, aren’t you? You’re my dirty slut nasty whore."
I can think of some more examples, but you get the point I think.
So if you ever receive the advice to say specific phrases (and by specific I mean something like the two above), don't do it unless you want to make him feel confused at best and uncomfortable/turned off at worst.
Although, there is the small chance he might like something out there. But, really don't just dive in using the more "outrageous" dirty talk phrases you see or you will be possibly sabotaging yourself.
Here are a few examples of some "scripts" like I mentioned above:
- DADDY, NOOOO!
- I WANT TO RIDE YOUR FACE NOW.
- F*** ME HARDER YOU WUSS.
- MY P**** IS SO WET YOU BETTER F*** IT GOOD.
Do you see why some of these could send one man running for the hills but possibly turn another on?
Remember, dirty talk does not have to be over the top obscene and explicit. You are not trying to imitate a porno (unless this is what turns you and him on). Don’t be intimidated because this is supposed to be FUN.
There is so much bad advice out there (not all, obviously, just some that advocate sticking to a certain script and way of doing it) but why does it matter?
The one-size-fits-all style of advice sabotages so many women. Why? It gives women the wrong idea of what they feel they must do when talking dirty.
This either causes awkward situations when she goes ahead and try reciting a line… or it makes her feel so discouraged that she never even tries to say what is on her mind or even attempt to talk dirty because it is too stressful.
Is there any benefit to reading about "how to talk dirty"? Of course!
Consider this: does anything you read when learning about how to talk dirty intrigue you? There is a lot of good reading material out there that can spark your imagination. This article, for example, is a great way to get your imagination running wild.
Are there specific words you enjoy or concepts that turn you on? This is what to look for! This is the best way to get "inspired", so to speak.
So if any concepts or ideas appeal to you (or parts of ideas), adopt these for yourself and keep them in mind. When the moment does come up in your own life, you will instinctively feel what feels right.
Always Do What Is Natural And Comfortable
The words natural and comfortable need to always stay in the forefront of your mind.
In this article, I wrote a lot about how important these two factors are.
Here are a few tips:
- Don’t recite lines... ever.
- Start small, build up if it seems to be turning him (and you) on.
- Never be afraid to laugh at yourself.
- Bring up the subject of "dirty talk" with him and see how he reacts to it.
- If something feels amazing, say it.
- If you can’t believe how good him being inside you feels, go ahead and say it.
- Don’t exaggerate or underplay how good it feels.
- Be free but don’t assume he’s automatically going to be turned on by any dirty talk. It has to be mutual and that's OK. Everyone has different turn-ons, you simply must COMMUNICATE!.
There you go. Those were just some quick tips. But I can follow up with more specific advice on this subject if anyone is interested.