Who needs a bedroom to keep passion alive?
Technology has made it easy to stay in touch (literally!) with the one you love. While having romantic moments online or by cell phone is often associated with 20-somethings and teens, couples of all ages can enhance their relationship and encourage a surge in heated passion by getting creative, and moving intimacy beyond bedroom walls with dirty texting. If you're in a long distance relationship or your partner or spouse travels frequently, sexting may be your primary way to really be together on an intimate level. A dirty text can also be a great way to set the mood for a night ahead with a partner you live with and get to see everyday.
But you've got to be smart. There are far too many ways sexting can go wrong, leaving you embarrassed and scrambling to repair the damage done to your relationship or personal history.
Sexting has a rather raunchy reputation. It's made the news as political figures, athletes and celebrities misstep and send intimate shots of their goods to someone who wasn't trustworthy, or perhaps didn't even want to be the recipient. These famous people are doing us a favor — demonstrating why it's best to think through sexting before actually doing it.
Here are some don'ts and do's of dirty texting:
Don't use sexting to try to repair relationship problems.
If you want to turn off your partner big time, send him or her a sext when you two are in the middle of an argument. Sex is never a good way to resolve conflicts or fix trust issues. Take care of whatever has driven a wedge in your relationship and then, later, celebrate with sexual intimacy.
Don't go beyond your partner's comfort zone.
Get a sense of what your partner likes and doesn't like before sending a sext. There's nothing wrong with infusing your relationship with an element of surprise; just make sure you're not crossing a boundary when it comes to his or her tastes and morals.
Don't send your partner sexts while at work.
One way to totally bomb at sexting is to put your partner in an embarrassing position that may even jeopardize his or her career. It's best not to send sexts during office hours. The last thing you want is for your partner to open a NSFW (not safe for work) message from you while on the job, thinking it's a reminder to buy milk on the way home.
Don't save sexts (especially photos).
If you're in a long distance relationship or are physically apart from your love temporarily, it's tempting to save the sexy messages and pics you receive. Don't do this! Even if you have no intention to share the sext with anyone else, it could fall into the wrong hands (like your kids, extended family, friends or some stranger who finds your phone after you accidentally leave it on the counter at the coffee shop).
Now for the do's:
Do set sexting agreements in advance.
It might sound boring, but it's wise to talk with your partner about what's okay and what's not before you send him or her a sext. Ask if this is something your partner would find exciting and is open to. Set some ground rules to ensure that your sexts have the effect you're going for.
Do get creative.
Some people find it easier to experiment with sexual intimacy when online or, in this case, by phone. Leave your inhibitions behind, explore fantasies or use words you don't usually say out loud.
Do be flirty and tease.
It will drive your partner wild to get flirty hints and suggestions. Here's a time when it's okay to string him or her along a little bit — for pleasurable effects, of course!
Do be brief.
Text messages aren't really meant to be long and wordy, and this applies to your sexts as well. Remember, you're setting a mood and connecting intimately. Feel free to sext a few alluring words to create mystery or hint at your enjoyment.
Do double check the number before hitting send.
Maybe this one is obvious, but in the heat of a sexting moment, you might forget and accidentally send the racy message meant for your spouse to someone else — like your mom, your neighbor or your boss. Take a moment to double check the number before hitting the send button.
Sexting is just one way to keep the spark alive in your love relationship or marriage. Find out more ideas and relationship tips in the free Passionate Spark~Lasting Love ebook by relationship coaches and authors Susie and Otto Collins at: www.relationshipgold.com