Isn't it time you up-leveled your flirting skills?
I'll admit, when it comes to flirting, my got-it-going-on gears could use a little aphrodisiac oil. But then again, I'm in a long term relationship and don't really have any reason to flirt — or do I? See, I have a philosophy that flirting is an integral part of the social fabric of our lives. Some people wink and flirt to get a little extra shot in their morning Starbucks. Others flirt to try to get an extra discount on a new pair of "gee, your butt looks hot" jeans. And then, others like me, flirt because it's fun to engage with people and get them to drop their shields (not their drawers) and see the fun, flirty side of them. Even the subtlest conversations invite people to flirt, enticing each other to bring forth our truest sexy selves. But when it comes to sharpening my skills, I wonder where I can find the best dating tips?
Which begs the question, who is the best at flirting—Gay men, lesbians, heterosexual men or hetero women? Sure, each group has their own innate Flirt Skills DNA. Don't believe me? Well, think about this—most women, regardless of breast size, have a way of using their pleasure humps to hypnotize guys (and even other women) in order to get what they want. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying all women use their booby-guns to manipulate. I'm simply stating the fact that a sexy woman's awareness of the wide-spread love of boobies has the potential to help her rule the world. On the guy side of things, most men, gay or straight, know how to turn on their little "love ya, baby" voice to make hearts melt. Of course they wouldn't be caught dead using that voice in the locker room for fear of being shamed and banned from the gym for life. But the truth remains, men bring their own unique secret weapons to the flirt game.
So, who is the master of all things flirtatious?
Here's what I find interesting: regardless of the romance playing field you stand on, most people either love or hate the art of the flirt. However, in my observations, gay men (not all of them) are the hands-down masters of the art of flirting. Here is what gay men seem to understand that can help you up-level your flirt skills:
- Flirting Is Sexual, Mental, And Emotional: Gay men, the ones who've mastered the art of flirting, are all in, leaving nothing behind. Flirting is a full-on contact sport for them. They seduce the mind, body, and soul in their quest to lure the male object of their desire into their bed (or into their life).
- They're Not Afraid To Bare It All: I've not been on Tinder, so I can't comment on how the heterosexual population plays the "hook-up game," but what I do know from Grindr, Scruff, and Growlr is that most gay men tend to put it all out there unapologetically. Pecs, penises and booties prevail in the photomontages of the gay app flirt world. Some would say, it's all about sex and the physical conquest for guys whose version of "hello" is a crotch shot followed by their butt and chest. In this type of flirt sequence, I say, "Bully for him. At least you know what he's after from the get go!"
- Body Language Is A Language They Speak Well: Admittedly, we all use our bodies to communicate. Gay men, when flirting, tend to know exactly how to draw attention to all the right body parts in the art of their flirt. No, I'm not saying they point at their crotch, pecs, and butts. That would be like a woman with 36DD breasts pointing at them and shouting, "Look at these girls!" That's about as subtle as a grandma slipping a Werther's Original into her purse. Gay men have a clever way of showcasing their assets without blatantly flaunting their goods like a harlot. That is except for when they're at a White Party, clothing optional resort or strutting their jocks at a gay pride parade. Then the flirts are more obvious.
- Shame Has No Place In Their Flirt Arsenal: Maybe shame isn't the right word, let's call it inhibition. Gay men, who have a solid dose of confidence, rarely manifest any depths of shame as they flirt. They are forthright, say what they want (and what they mean) to get the attention of their conquest. They utilize their best assets and never shirk away when asked, "Are you flirting with me?" Their answer is "Of course, and how do you like it so far?" They've overcome the fears of "not good enough," and step into the fast lane of flirting with clear intentions. While others might perceive it as "shameless flirting," the truth is, these guys are just uber confident and know how to work it.
So, are gay men better at flirting than their straight counterparts? In a word, "Yes!" Gay men have gone through the ringer to stake a claim of "this is who I am". If they are in a healthy space with themselves and know who they are, then the their flirtablity mojo is right in alignment with their truest sexy selves. From that grounded space, of course it's easier to be playful and shine some fun flirtatious energy outward when you're true to yourself and love who you are inside. And that's something we can all learn from.
Ready to be more confident and improve the art of your flirt? Check out The Art Of Kick Ass Confidence.