What Men REALLY Think About Lingerie!


What Men REALLY Think About Lingerie!
Lingerie isn't about looking sexy, it's about making you feel sexual!

We all know that a man appreciates when you get all gussied up for him and whet his appetite in something short and lacy, but when we shop for something that looks good for his eyes, we sometimes don't think about how WE feel wearing it.

We don't don't think about how it affects us emotionally when we wear that item.  We don't ask ourselves, "Do I feel confident, sensual, and alluring in this teddy or garter belt?" "Am I going to step out of the bathroom and KNOW inside that I feel ready to make passionate love in this ensemble?"  We only worry about how the man will think we look in it, regardless of the fact that the stiff lace on the crotch rubs our chubby-rub raw and the bones of the corset draw blood.


And the very last thing we feel is "ready to go" in the sack!  

Then, what usually ends up happening as soon as we step out the bathroom door?  He gives us a once over and then rips the lingerie off in less time then it took to get it on!!!

We are so worried about the outfit, so in our heads about how he sees us, that we shut off from our senses and then can't enjoy the sex and end up faking orgasm in our numb bodies.  We don't think about putting on lingerie as a ritual that revves up our Horny Gears. Instead, we think about it as a way to put our true sexuality aside and start servicing HIM!

And what, you ask, is the problem with that, since I'm a relationship coach who is all about the concept of selfless "love-based giving" when in a relationship with a man?

The fact that sex is an interesting type of gift to a man--the more you are SELFISH about it, the more he enjoys getting it!

He doesn't want you to put on some fancy lingerie while you dread the whole process and then lie there looking at the ceiling as he makes love to you minutes later.  He wants you to put on something that makes you feel like a goddess.  He wants you to put on something that makes you feel turned on and ready to go.  He wants you to put on something that makes you feel fabulous, regardless of how much attention he gives you for wearing it.

He doesn't want you to spend too long in the bathroom while he's naked in bed and waiting, only for you to walk out wearing a half smile, trip over the carpet in too-high heels and awkwardly grab the scratchy undies out your bum as you approach the bedside.

He also doesn't want to see you looking robotically stiff and self-consciously terrified in the outfit. That kills the mood completely for him.

Men like lingerie because it makes them feel that you take the time to be beautiful for them, and that you enjoy the process because you enjoy making yourself beautiful for men.

Men like lingerie because they like the idea that you are sooo turned on by them, you have to get all dressed up to make sex a special occasion where you can show them how very turned on they make you inside.

So if you don't enjoy the process and lingerie makes you less turned on for hot sex, what's the point?  It's not helping his pleasure or yours.

Next time you buy lingerie, don't worry about how it looks; worry about how it makes you feel inside to see yourself in it and to wear it.  Enjoy the process.  Take note of lingerie you see in films that you think are beautiful and go try on similar styles.  Maybe you think girls in cowboy hats and boots are sexy, so you go to the local western store and pick up a few sombreros.

Make it about you and how you can celebrate your body and set the mood for your fun and passion.

Now, some women have a really hard time ever thinking of themselves as sexy and enticing in any outfit.  If you are really hard on yourself about your looks, no amount of work on the outside will completely fix this, i.e. weight loss and muscle toning.  Yes, you may look at yourself and say, "Okay, I look fit and kinda sexy" but you may still not feel comfortable with being fully in your body during sex and will most likely lie there motionless during sex... or start screaming and yelling as a performance for him instead of truly enjoying his touch.

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by

Ms. Kristina Marchant


Is the man you love emotionally distant?  Maybe he runs hot then cold, or maybe he has slowly been distancing himself over time?  If so, you are have something in common with the women who read and follow my blog, ConnectWithHisHeart.com  Come take a look and sign up there for my free mini-course: "Why Men Fall In & Out Of Love...  And What You Can Do"



Location: Miami, FL
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Ms. Kristina Marchant:

The Lies We Tell Ourselves When We Are Dumped


Pulling your hair out, perplexed and frustrated as to why the man you love doesn't seem to reciprocate your unrequited love? After all, you know that no other woman will ever be as caring and loving as you are with him. Your friends have given up trying to convince you that you're too good for him. He may have even told you that you deserve better. But ... Read more

He Relishes Your Attention But Could He Ever Love You?


He returns your text messages. He calls you back. He takes you up on invitations to spend time together. He eats your cooking and humbly accepts your gifts. Maybe he even admits that he deeply cares for you. But, he gets an 'F' for effort. If you don't reach out, he's M.I.A. He won't initiate contact. He doesn't buy you gifts or ... Read more

How To Spot & Release Emotionally Unavailable Men


A relationship when both partners are "all-in" is tough enough. But when your man is emotionally unavailable, things are so much harder. You're committed to making things work, but he just won't open up. A tell-tale sign of an emotionally unavailable man is a lack of empathy; check for these signs before you get too committed. Although my ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Must-see Videos
Most Popular