One-liners may initially get a woman’s attention; however, what are you doing to keep the conversation going? I often get asked by my male client’s how they can get more dates. I often ask why first. Why do you want to date women? If you’re just focused on numbers or sex, then you’re not going to get many numbers, or go on many second dates. If you're stuck in the online dating world, and don't know how to get past the first face-to-face these tips will help you too. Below are 5 tips on how to talk to women more easily if the fear of approaching one makes you tongue-tied after hello.
1. Focus on her, not you.
Don’t let anxieties of being shot down or approaching a woman turn you off from talking to a woman. If they choose not to respond to you, it is not about you. It’s about them. They may not be looking for anyone, they have their own insecurities, or they are not interested.
If you are focused on what you’re going to say next or the thoughts in your head, she will pick up on the fact that she does not have 100% of your attention. Why? You’re too focused on yourself. Bottom line, if you’re both listening to your own thoughts or you get distracted by something else…, then you aren’t in a conversation with someone else in the first place!
The mere thought of having to initiate a conversation with other people, let alone a woman, can be draining, intimidating, and daunting for introverts. This isn’t bad; it’s just the way it is. Just remember, half of the population is introverted, so it can be equally hard for women to respond back…Especially after a long week of work for both of you. It’s doable, and is easiest to do when you are doing things that you enjoy doing.
2. Ask open-ended questions.
The difference between a close-ended question and an open-ended question is that when you ask a close-ended question the answer is either yes or no. An open-ended question uses What, When, Where, How and Why, but the purpose behind asking the questions is to illicit someone else’s opinions, thoughts, and feelings.
Before you head out the door, create a list of 5 or 10 things you can talk about—be it current events, politics, sports, or a hobby—and be open to listening and hearing differing opinions.
3. Be yourself.
We pick up on nonverbal body language faster than we register what you’re saying. This means if you are only interested in getting a number to get a date, we understand this on a visceral level, before we’ve even responded to what you’ve said.
One thing to think about is if you’re only interested in getting a number, then most women are not interested in you. We want to feel and be special. For us to give you our number or talk to you longer than 2 minutes, we need to feel a connection. Even if we’re physically attracted to you, this doesn’t mean we’re going to give you our contact information. If you’re relaxed, being honest, and genuinely interested in what we think and feel, then we may let our guard down long enough to see who you are as a person too.
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