You just put your child to bed after a long day of patty cake and picking up toys, and you're still in the stained large t-shirt and substantial fleece sweatpants you put on at 6 a.m. You look in the mirror and shudder to think about going out on a date.
I vividly remember when I first became a single mom trying to rediscover who I was again separate from my husband and was catapulted into this thing called dating. I had a closet full of oversized, black mommy tops, a bunch of nursing bras and neutral colored Birkenstock sandals. All of my clothes were too big, too black and too boring. This image was not very sexy to say the least. But more importantly, I wasn't feeling attractive, and I didn't know how to give signals that I was even interested in men. 5 Ways To Feel Dateable After Divorce
I then started going through my metamorphosis. I lost weight, which led to a new wardrobe that fit my body and was date friendly, got my hair updated, visited the make-up counters frequently and poof the tired, frumpy mom turned into a sexy mama, well sort of. The truth of the matter is that wearing attractive clothes with confidence and doing things that make you feel good about yourself allows other people to respond positively to you, especially men!
It can be scary to think about getting back out there and making possible changes. The biggest thing to keep in mind is to take your time and have fun rediscovering the new you. Here are some simple tips you can begin to take so that you can start to feel dateable again:
1. Embrace the benefits of being a single mom. It is easy focus on the negative part of the heart brake and emotional turmoil of divorce. Instead, embrace the positives of dating the second time around. Many men say the actually prefer dating a divorced parent as they are more confident, mature, caring and less anxious. Parents are content with having children, so there is less urgency, desperation and fear of biological clock ticking. You also have the freedom to take your time and have fun without needing to get too serious. Men like when there is less pressure in the beginning phases of dating for a serious relationship.
2. Exercise the mind. Stimulate and challenge yourself mentally. Acquire a skill and learn about things you might not have been able to master when married. Discover a new career, go back to school, take classes, learn a language and read books. By doing this, you might tap into a new part of you and have more to talk about when you are on dates. Men love women who are interesting and can carry on good conversations.
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