5 Truths About Long-Term Committed Relationships

By

5 Truths About Long-Term Committed Relationships
Here are 5 truths about long-term committed relationships that will shatter the myths of couplehood.

There is so much pressure on people to be in committed long-term relationships or marriages. And there are countless numbers of books, songs, movies, and experts out there to show you the way. And while their intentions are good, they reinforce the message that if you’re single, you’re missing out—that somehow your life is not whole and complete until you find that special someone. So if you’re single and longing for that special relationship, listen up. I’m about to shatter all the fairytale beliefs about long-term committed relationships. I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you or your life. I want to liberate you from all the hype. I want you to enjoy your single years. Here are 5 truths about long-term committed relationships. 1.They get boring. At times you will be bored with your mate, your sex life, your home life, your life together. Sometimes you are simply not that into him and what’s more, sometimes he is not that into you. Sometimes this can last for minutes or hours; other times, it can last for months or years. 2.They can hold you back—from your dreams, your potential, your goals. It can become easy to hide out in long-term relationships; forgoing your independence and drive to reach your potential and take risks in going for your dreams. Your partner may become stagnant as well. 3.Your feelings will get hurt. You will be disappointed. You will be challenged. Relationships require vulnerability; intimacy demands it. Long-term committed relationships will always provide opportunities for you to deal with your insecurities, fears, and wounds. 4.They get messy. People get sick, have smelly flatulence, become wrinkled, have mood swings, go through menopause, and become impotent. Being in a long-term committed relationship means you take the bad with the good. Some messes will be worse than others and sometimes you will need to clean them up all by yourself. 5.You have to share all the time. You need to share your personal space, your home, and your resources and make decisions accordingly. Your ability to make independent decisions on how to flex and adapt your life to internal and external circumstances is affected by the need to take another person into consideration. You move in pairs or family units. This requires more cooperation and time to organize your efforts and implement decisions. While it may appear I have a cynical view on long-term relationships, this is far from the truth. My work is all about helping people create powerful and intimate relationships.

Continue to page two...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Julie Orlov

Counselor/Therapist

Julie Orlov, MAOL, MSW, LCSW
Relationship Builder

Speaker, Psychotherapist, Coach and Author of The Pathway to Love:
Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery
jorlov@julieorlov.com www.julieorlov.com
www.julieorlovconsulting.com
310-379-5855

Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Linked-In

 

Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Credentials: LCSW, MSW, Other
Other Articles/News by Julie Orlov:

R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Find Out What It Means To YOU!

By

Mutual respect is key to successful relationships. Marriages take two people committed to the covenants of respect, and while every couple has the right and responsibility to define what that means to them, I'd thought I'd give you my definition (in acronym form) of RESPECT. Respond to each other's feelings and concerns in a thoughtful and non ... Read more

Don't Let Your Ex Sabotage Your Future

By

Even when you're ready to start dating after a breakup, your last relationship may be getting in the way. For example, if your ex was a great lover, you may compare his love making to every potential partner that comes your way. If your new love interest doesn't measure up, you may focus on the comparison, dismissing all the unique, wonderful qualities ... Read more

7 Ways To Deal With Your Empty Nest

By

It's that time of year. The school year is coming to a close and for those of you who are parents, this means dealing with endings and preparing yourself and your children for the new beginnings that lie ahead.  For those of you that have graduating seniors, like myself, it is a more poignant time of year. It is the time to begin the process of ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular