9 Things I Wish I Had Learned In Sex Ed

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sex ed
What might a sexologist wish she learned about sex and sexuality growing up?

Growing up in a relatively typical Chinese family in Singapore, I received very little sexuality education. Let me give you the context: I did not know that what I had "down there" was called the vulva even though I had the "bits." I did not attempt to pronounce the word penis until I was 26, and as if that by itself was not awkward enough, I was then told that I said it wrong!

Here are nine things that I wish I had learned in sex-ed as a teenager:

 

1. The correct anatomical names for the genitals. Without knowing what is 'down there' and resorting to using pet names or blushing every time we refer to our private parts, just how comfortable can one be with one's sexuality, much less sexual expression? Being able to give the correct anatomical names to your genitals is part of healthy sexuality.

2. Adults do not talk to you about sex because they are afraid of being responsible for telling you the wrong things about sex. But mostly, it is because they are not uncomfortable talking about sex themselves. Forgive them for never being able to give you a straight answer or dismissing you because they still see you as a child. Let that go.

3. Do not believe everything you hear from your friends, family, or anybody else for that matter about sex. Most of the time, they are just passing on what they heard from somebody, who heard it from somebody else. Sex Ed for Kids

4. It is ok to seek out information about sex and sexuality. It does not make you any less of a person, but instead better prepared to make the right sexual decisions for you. The more you actually do know about sex and sexuality, the more comfortable you will be in owning and expressing your sexuality. Sex is not dirty, but rather completely natural and normal.

5. Sexuality education does not encourage the early start of sexual intercourse, the frequency of intercourse, or even an increase in the number of sexual partners among the young. Instead, understanding sexuality can actually delay the onset of intercourse, reduce the frequency of intercourse, reduce the number of sexual partners, and increase condom or contraceptive use. Teaching Our Kids About Sex

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Sex Coach

Dr Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching in Singapore. She is a certified sexuality educator with AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists), as well as certified sexologist with ACS (American College of Sexologists). She holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality from Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality as well as certificates in practical counselling, life coaching and sex therapy. She is available to provide sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conduct sexual education workshops and speak at public events in Asia and beyond.

Check out her first book Love, Sex and Everything In-Between! Join the Eros Coaching Facebook fan page for daily updates on the most happening news on sex and sexuality around the world, and more here! For more, visit www.ErosCoaching.com.

Location: Singapore, Singapore, Singapore
Credentials: MA, Other
Specialties: Empowering Women, Sexuality
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