to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

3 Tips For Expats & Cross-Cultural Relationships

By . Posted on .

3 Tips For Expats & Cross-Cultural Relationships [EXPERT]
Don't let cultural differences get in the way of love!
Cross-Cultural encounters of the loving kind involve extreme compassion and empathy.

Living in a foreign country and enjoying a cross-cultural relationship can be one of the most rewarding — and challenging — experiences one could ever imagine. I never thought I'd be in one when I first went to France in my early twenties. However, the universe had other plans when in my first week of classes I laid eyes on the man who would be my husband for 27 years.

We were polar opposites in nearly every way. I was Jewish and from Los Angeles. He was Catholic from a small town of 4000. His English amounted to the beginners, "My tailor is rich" ... with a charming French accent, of course. He loved the mountains, skiing and snow while my idea of altitude was driving along Pacific Coast Highway a couple hundred feet above sea level in a convertible with the top down. What we shared were our astrological signs and deep love. Compatibility: In A Man's Eyes

More from YourTango: 10 Signs Your Guy Is Definitely In Love With You

Yet, no amount of love can rid culture shock — a tangible experience with distinct symptoms that can eventually wreak havoc on an unprepared couple or individual. Being married to a foreigner can be spicy and exhilarating, but when the exotic honeymoon is over and the rubber hits the road in the reality of everyday living, feelings of nostalgia, homesickness and loss may begin to loom heavily over many cross-cultural couples.

Thankfully there are ways to remedy the situation when emotions seem to take on bigger proportions far away from home. Here are 3 tips to help combat cultural collisions and nostalgia:

1. Honor your values. It is one thing to say, "When in Rome ..." and quite often difficult to accept the local ways of doing things. Usually, that is because a value is being challenged or a need isn't being met and we get frustrated with cultural miscommunication and differences.

Take stock of your values and determine which ones are being challenged. Some are much more important than others. Is it about how people relate to time and punctuality? Is it about socializing? Is it about education?  One Love, Two Cultures: Making It Work

On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very bothered by something and one not being bothered at all, evaluate how bothered you really are and what you can do to adapt or to let it slide. If you could rewrite the situation and turn it into a new movie, what would the scenario look like? Who would the actors be? What solutions might they come up with? How could the scenery change? How much negative energy do you really want to spend complaining about something you may not be able to change and that is just easier to go along with?

2. Be compassionate with your partner. You cannot make your partner happy if they are sad and homesick. However, you can greatly help them with their feelings by showing empathy and compassion.

More from YourTango: 7 Mistakes That Kill Relationships

Next: More tips...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Deb Dutilh

Life Coach

Deb Dutilh

deb@debdutilh.com

424-227-0061

In less than 60 minutes, with my amazingly accurate and innovative Compatibility Index, I can tell you exactly what's holding you back from having the bodacious, passionate and authentic life you're yearning for and deserve and give you strategies for creating it.

Contact me today and take my innovative online Compatibiltity Index!

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: CPC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Empowering Women, Life Transitions
Other Articles/News by Deb Dutilh:

50 Ways To Love Our Mothers

By

Without being completely gushy, I have to admit that it doesn’t take much to give me giddy goose-bumps of happiness when it comes to the absolute joy of kids, family and friends beaming with loving pride and some parental bragging rights. I think mothers should be honored everyday not just on Mother's Day. The holiday is not without controversy, ... Read more

Sexuality & Body Image: 7 Lessons Courtesy Of Marilyn Monroe

By

Today, May 6, is International No Diet Day and quite frankly, if it were up to me, every day should be a no-diet day. The fashion and beauty industry's obsession with body image have resulted in more and more women treating themselves in the cruelest ways with destructive negative body image thoughts. According to an exclusive Glamour survey of more ... Read more

How To Stop Sweeping Things Under The Rug

By

May 3 is National Lumpy Rug Day which is basically means it' time to do some spring cleaning and get rid of a lot of your junk. Literally, the lumps in the rug usually come from the furniture that has been sitting around in the same place for ages but in close relationships, those lumps come from sweeping things under the rug. When something is too ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
dating: what guys think of texting

What Guys Really Think Of Texting

He texts you without fail, but he never asks you out on a date. So what's the deal?

Inspired

Love & Faith: Why Your Marriage Will Succeed Because Of Religion

Faith is the solid foundation for a lasting, loving and fulfilling marriage.

Oh My

Mr. Impossible: Is It Narcissism or ADHD?

What if your ex isn't a narcissist, a compulsive liar or a sociopath? What if he's just got ADHD?

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS