7 Reasons Reverse Cowgirl Is The World's WORST Sex Position

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Sex

Ride on, cowgirl.

Because I'm a sex writer and I give advice about sex twice a week, I find myself often discussing sex positions.

Everyone has their favorite. 

Some folks like the vanilla flavor of missionary sex, others like spicing things up. 

I'm all about trying new sex positions, but whenever someone brings up the reverse cowgirl sex position I can't help but roll my eyes.

Because it is the WORST. 

The reverse cowgirl sex position wasn't created so folks could enjoy a new level of sexual bliss.

The reverse cowgirl sex position was created by the porn industry to entertain folks watching at home. 

It looks more like bad modern dance than sex, and it removes any possibility of communicating with your partner. 

Did I mention it doesn't stimulate your clitoris any better than regular cowgirl? 

If you are still thinking that the reverse cowgirl sex position is awesome, I present 7 reasons why it sucks. 

Please enjoy. 

 

1. It's got the word "cow" in it. 

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I feel about reverse cowgirl the way I feel about shopping at Dress Barn.

Why do we need to invoke images of barnyard animals into sex and/or shopping lives?

It's insulting. 

To all of us, cows included. 

 

2. There is no eye contact. 

I know, I'm a romantic sap, but I'll be real, I love eye contact.

You don't get it in reverse cowgirl. 

Unless you have eyes in the back of your head. 

 

3. You have to clean your room. 

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When you are having sex in the reverse cowgirl position, you have no choice but to look out on your surroundings.

If your surroundings are your bedroom, it better be clean.

Because nothing hinders orgasm more than realizing you need to vacuum. 

 

4. It requires serious core strength.

Seriously, it's like doing squats and sit-ups at the same damn time.

Reverse cowgirl puts you in control in theory.

But unless you're used to training with Jillian Michaels, prepare for a major workout. 

 

5. Your butt has nowhere to hide. 

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If you are riding him reverse cowgirl style, he has a prime view of...

Your ass.

You need to be 100% ass confident to work this sex position, and even if you are, that might change when you remember that butts sweat during sex.

And that sweat could go all over his face. 

 

6. His penis could snap off. 

When you are riding him backwards his penis is going in directions it doesn't usually go.

Now a penis is not like a kneecap (thank god), because it can bend and swerve. 

That's part of why we love it.

But riding him backwards definitely increases the odds of twerking his penis in a way that makes him cringe or worse, howl. 

Friends don't let friends break dicks. 

 

7. You probably don't own a lasso.

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The only way I can see redeeming this sex position is with props. 

Unless you are an actual cowgirl, you probably don't own a lasso, which rules this position out for good.

Even if you did, waving it over your head while riding his penis sounds pretty darn challenging, and not in a fun way.

 

 

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