No, he hasn't completely moved on.
Have you ever had an amazing date with a guy only to find that he’s recently out of a long-term relationship? You begin to wonder if he’s truly over his ex, especially when there are signs that point to him still being emotionally connected to the woman who came before you.
Breakups are difficult and there’s no surefire way to get over an ex. Sometimes your head tells you that you’ve moved on but your heart doesn’t agree. You know how hard it is to get over an ex and you want to show your potential new boyfriend that you empathize, but you don’t know for sure what his status is in regards to his ex.
You may also be fully engaged in a relationship that’s been going on for a while, but you just get the feeling that your boyfriend still has feelings for his ex and you start to feel concerned about what that means for your relationship.
Your boyfriend may swear up and down that he’s completely over his ex and just when you start to believe him, he does something that alerts your spidey senses. Suddenly, you can’t stop thinking about if he’s still thinking about her.
There are times when someone is over his ex but then they trigger a memory of them and all their unresolved feelings come flooding back. They don’t want to hurt you, so maybe they keep their emotions to themselves; suddenly your open and honest relationship has some walls up and you can just tell that he’s hiding something from you.
If you suspect that your boyfriend isn’t being honest with you or themselves, it can make you feel anxious, frustrated, and scared that you’re losing him.
There are signs when someone isn’t completely over their ex and it’s a good idea to familiarize yourself with them so that you can spot them. Here’s how you know he’s not over his ex, based on his zodiac sign.
Does it seem as if your boyfriend is always available to help out his ex, even if it means pushing back plans he made with you? If he's still at her beck and call when she needs help with her computer or wants a companion to train for that triathlon, then he's still connected to her. Not making you a priority over her is a major red flag that he's either still not over the breakup or he's hoping to reconnect with her romantically in the future.
The guy you've been seeing broke up with his ex a while ago, and yet her stuff is still all over his house. Her shampoo and conditioner are in his shower, some of her workout gear is in the closet, and her books and art are still in the living room. If he were over her, that stuff would be gone, but like the memory of her, it's still lingering. Her possessions are a link and an excuse for future contact with her. Suggest that either she pick that stuff up or that he donate it to a local charity.
If your potential new significant other either seems to love or hate his ex, he's not over her. Both love and hate are based on passion and either indicates that he still feels very deeply about her. Extreme emotions toward an ex can signal that your guy is heavily emotionally invested in that past relationship and that's not good for your relationship. You want him to be as indifferent as possible to his ex.
If you've had a couple of dates with a new guy and then he suddenly asks if the two of you are exclusive, then there's a problem. Things are moving too quickly and it's a sure sign that he's feeling desperate to replace his ex or that he has a very controlling personality. Nobody wants to be in a rebound relationship and that's exactly what you're in if he's already talking about not dating other people.
If your boyfriend and his ex are like besties, you may have a problem, especially if they share a kind of closeness that makes you feel uncomfortable. Are they each other's dates for big events like weddings, and do they snuggle and hold hands? He swears that it's platonic and it may be, but it's also a way of staying close (literally) to his ex. You like to be close and you like big events, so shouldn't you be the one he chooses for those things?
Does your guy compare you to his ex and do you sometimes wonder, if she was so great why aren't they still together? By making constant comparisons between you and the ex, he's making you feel as if you're in a competition with her for his love. And guess what? You have no chance of ever winning this competition. He may not even realize that he's doing this, but it's clear his subconscious is still thinking about her.
You assume that he's over his ex but then you start to notice that he talks about her all the time. When he's not droning on and on about the wonderful memories they created together and when random things make him recollect that funny thing she said or did, he's not over her. In fact, she's so present in his life it's as if she's part of your relationship, and unless you signed up for a polyamorous relationship, you're going to probably want to leave him with his memories.
If your guy can't stand the guys his ex dates, there could be a problem. It's great that the two of them have both moved on, but if when he sees her Facebook status update involving the new guy or he bumps into them and you can see how much it upsets him, that's not somebody who has a passing interest in his ex's life.
If you've been seeing a guy and he's only interested in sex, not on getting to know you on a deeper level, he's probably still hung up on his ex. A relationship that includes real intimacy and vulnerability takes some emotional currency and he may be spending all his obsessing over his last girlfriend.
If your guy is still looking out for his ex, it could mean that he's not over her. Sure, he's great with finances and responsibility, but does she really need his advice regarding the guy she's thinking of dating, if she should switch careers, or if mileage to the gym is tax deductible? His overriding concern and care for her are very sweet, it's just not good for your relationship.
Does it seem as if your new boyfriend's friends are keeping you at a distance and trying to deliberately not get close to you? They may feel that you won't be in the picture for long and it's pointless to get too attached to you. They know how on some level he's still pining for his ex and they assume he'll get back with her and you'll be out of the picture.
You can handle that your boyfriend still lives in the same place that he lived in with his ex, that he hasn't redecorated yet or that her touches are still everywhere. What you object to is that her artwork is everywhere and that he still has pictures on her on his phone, desktop, on the walls, and in drawers. When you're at his house, you feel as if you're always being watched by her and you have the feeling that if you left him, he'd be fine surrounded by all his memories of her. Yeah, he's not over her, not while he's still living in his Museum of the Ex.