The brutal truth ...
Many women have this similar experience with the men. The relationship is going incredibly well — it's exciting, and you're loving the time together.
Then, seemingly out of the blue, you feel a distance. You're certainly not the one creating it, so it must be your man, right?
You'll be surprised to hear that this is actually quite common behavior between men and women in relationships. It could actually be your partner's way of reinforcing your bond!
(If this is happening in the beginning of the relationship, however, you seriously need to sit down and discuss what the problem might be and decide if you both really want to make this commitment.)
In the video above, SVP of YourTango Experts Melanie Gorman, relationship and communications expert Fiona Fine, author and relationship coach Gregg Michaelsen, matchmaker and dating coach Jasbina Ahluwalia and biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., discuss why men and women decide to create distance with their partners even though the relationship is going well.
Here's are two reasons they say your partner is pulling away for a bit:
1. He's Low On Testosterone
Men and women bond to their partners differently. Jasbina Ahluwalia explains the confusing bonding phenomenon like this:
"Men tend to have this intense bonding. Women are de-stressing. The bonding is making them de-stress. [It's the] opposite for the guys. Actually, their testosterone is coming down, so they need to actually go away, pull back, build it up. They'll spring back, too, per John Gray's Rubberband Theory. They'll spring back to you as long as you don't chase him, right? Don't chase him. He'll come back."
2. He's Realizing That He's Leaving The Single Life Behind
It's a big transition from, I'm single and ready to mingle to I'm in a wonderful relationship with this one woman. That can be jarring for a man, which is why when a woman comes around that seems to be worth it, they take a step back to understand their feelings and determine whether she's worth giving up the single life.
"We think three things," says Gregg Michaelson, "...I'm not always proud of this. But we think, She's going to take all my money. She's going to take away all my friends, and I'll never be able to sleep with another woman again. And we think about this, and the irony is we want to spend our money on women. We want our friends to be taken away to a certain extent (at least some of them), and we want to only sleep with one woman. But it's up to the woman to neutralize [those three fears]."
Here are a few ways to deal with the distance:
Focus On Yourself
Don't go running after him. Instead, do things that make you happy to keep your mind off the situation until your partner returns. If you mope and worry about it, you'll be too hurt to stay with him when he returns.
Don't Completely Distance Yourself
Give your man some space, but don't completely forget about him. Your man just needs some time to collect his thoughts before he gets serious. If you leave him, he'll be confused. That can ruin your opportunity for a loving relationship.
Be The One To Neutralize His Fears
Don't make him worry that you're a controlling person who takes all his money and refuses to let him spend time with friends. You'll make him feel trapped.
Some simple ways to do this are: Don't ask him to buy you things, offer to pay the top or half of the bill, and be appreciative of what he does give you. Spend some time apart with your own respective friends during the week, and don't forget to keep your sex life sexy. (Gregg Michaelsen says that this will actually make your man want to spend time with you.)
Do you still feel worried about the fact that your partner is pulling away? Watch the video above to hear more helpful expert advice!