Welcome to 2015, folks, where the the one-size-fits-all approach to big life decisions doesn’t work.
Not too long ago, I was out with a handsome so-and-so having a chat about sex, dating and love when the topic of one night stands came up. “Have you ever had one?” he asked. “No,” I responded. He rolled his eyes. “Come on, not one?” “No,” I reiterated. He stared at me with a smirk, “You’re so weird.” I laughed.
I've heard that word many times: Weird, prude, old-fashioned. I've been called all of the above and more than once. The whole notion that I would prefer to avoid an awkward goodbye and inevitable STD scare (I'm a bit paranoid) while wondering if a cute stranger would call me: is that really that weird? I think not.
The whole exchange made me think about some other “weird” traits that are actually quite normal, even if no longer the norm. Read on to see if any apply to you.
It's totally normal to:
1. NOT want to share EVERY life update on Facebook.
In a world of continual status updates and fishing for “likes,” oversharing has quickly become the new way to socialize and (over) share. I, too, was guilty-as-charged until realizing that I was eroding my credibility with every sloppy update.
There’s something to be said for not announcing every fleeting thought, feeling and relationship bump to everyone you know. Besides, keeping your private life private not only helps you to maintain a little mystery, but you'll also never have to experience that oh-so-embarrassing moment when you change your mind and scramble to do damage control because, let’s face it: People read and judge.
2. NOT take thousands of #selfies.
I once received so many selfies from a new guy, I almost wished he could see my expression each time my iPhone beeped (if he could, he would've seen my best creeped-out face). Sure, everyone “likes” a nice photo, but if we're being honest, there’s something deeply narcissistic and slightly needy about spending hours standing in front of mirrors and posing just to show strangers on the Internet how attractive you are.
And unless you have confidence to spare and think you look phenomenal in all lighting and from every angle, they’re stressful, too. Big facial features, dark shadows, filtering within an inch of your life ... who needs it?
3. NOT give a sh*t about Kim and Kanye.
Listen, I say live and let live. If you like reality TV, great. But if spending hours of your life watching other people live theirs sounds a lot less exciting than creating your own show-stopping existence, then I say toss the remote and live a life you don't want to escape from.
I wish the West’s all of the best, but I'm pretty sure Kim isn’t stressing about whether (or not) any of us will make up with our sister's douch-ey babydaddy, either.
4. Want (or NOT want) kids.
Or get married/be in a relationship/whatever. Welcome to 2015, folks, where the the one-size-fits-all approach to big life decisions doesn’t work—and thankfully, doesn’t have to.
Besides, there's nothing more respectable (or sexier) than a woman who knows what works for HER and adjusts her life choices to support her own personal goals and value system. No explanation required.
5. Think that ignoring people is really RUDE.
OK, I know I'm not alone on this one because whenever I bring it up, everyone starts nodding like the SNL Roxbury skit. How many times have you reached out via email/text/phone call to a friend or colleague only to be met with a big, flat nothing? No response. Whether it’s an invite to dinner or a quick hello, being met by silence not only sucks, it feels terrible.
While full lives don’t always make room for real-time responses, ignoring someone (no matter how "busy" you claim to be) sends the message that you’re angry, don’t care or are holding out for a better option. Let me be frank, this S^%! ruins relationships, people.
6. Be friends with an ex.
Yes, there are a lot of hurt feelings and bad breakups to support going your separate ways and never speaking to each other again, but there are also plenty of people who are able to move past Go, collect their $200 and sustain a respectable, reliable and friendly friendship once they realize they aren’t a love match.
I should know, I just got an invitation to a baby shower from my ex-boyfriend’s wife.
7. To wait to have sex.
Swiping right doesn’t mean you have to slip into bed with every match, and not doing so doesn’t make you a prude. It makes you someone who, God forbid, likes to know a little about the person they’re waking up next to.
Sex should feel safe, comfortable and sexy. If that feeling comes on the first date, great, but if it doesn’t, that’s OK, too.
8. NOT bond over unhappiness.
Misery may love company, but who enjoys feeling miserable? Nobody. If Sex and The City-style complaining and commiserating isn’t the convo you want to have over cocktails, don’t assume you’re not chic. Assume you’re simply able to deal with life as we know it and choose to look at the bright side.
And well, that’s not weird. That’s wonderful!