How to make sure date #2 is in in the bag...
Dating can be fun — lots of fun! But in order to get to that I-have-to-see-you-everyday giddy feeling of a fulfilling relationship, you have to pass the first date in all of its awkward glory. Do you hold his hand? Is it OK that you looked at his Facebook profile? Does your hair look good?
The answer to all of those questions is big fat YES. Here's how to make a great impression on the first date.
1. Only confide in him if it's the natural thing to do.
When you're naturally at ease and can be your genuine self with another person, you'll have a better time, and so will he. Confiding in him doesn't mean you have to tell secrets, but if you can get past surface topics and talk about things you have in common — your great family, your alma mater, your favorite sports team — that emotional connection will start right from the first date and you won't have to force anything.
2. Remember that it's OK to look at his social media accounts.
In the 21st century when online dating sites are standard fare, there's no reason to feel sheepish about Googling and Facebooking your date. After all, had you met online you would already know things about each other's hometown, your college and what your interests are. Instead of feeling guilty about it, use it to fuel the conversation.
3. NEVER talk about your past failed relationships.
This is more of a what-not-to-do piece of advice, but sharing information about a past relationship is bad news for a first date. Talking about how long you've been single is natural, but discussing the ugly details of your last breakup is a recipe for disaster. You'll come off angry and unknowingly project your feelings about that last guy onto this new one.
That's a quick road to no second date. Avoid negative topics in general. It's perfectly fine to learn from past relationships — that's what they're for — but internalize it and use it to make this relationship better than the last.
4. Mirror his actions.
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but when it comes to a date it will subtly indicate that the two of you are in sync. We naturally want to be around people who are similar, and echoing his movements is a great way to do that. Does he lean into the conversation? You're welcome to lean a little closer. Is he talking with his hands? Take the cue and do the same.
5. Talk with your body.
While a loud and crowded bar or restaurant may not be an ideal place for a first date, it will allow you an excuse to get cozy. It's a great impetus for leaning in closer and creating a more intimate feeling right off the bat. Once that physical distance barrier has been broken, things like holding his hand or an end of night kiss will feel much more natural.
6. Do something adventurous for your date.
So maybe The Bachelor doesn't have it all wrong when it comes to a good first date. You know all of those "leap of love" metaphors they make every season about jumping off a building, climbing a mountain, or insert-other-dangerous-activity-here on a date? It turns out that the more energy and intensity you put into any experience, the closer you're going to be.
An adventurous date gives you both a chance to share who you are in a fun and enjoyable way. After a shared experience — even ice skating or something more spontaneous like a scary cab ride — you're more likely to feel a strong connection to that person.