You think you know how to do this, but you don't.
If your lover is like many men, he would love to have sex every day or even multiple times a day. Unfortunately, many women can't keep up with their lovers' sex drives. The stress of work and family drain women of their ability to get turned on and be spontaneously in the mood for sex, especially intercourse.
Transitioning from laundry to lingerie is not as easy as many sex advice columns would have us believe. Learning how to create the relaxation and intimacy to transition a woman from stressed-out to blissed-out is essential for creating a sustainable sex life.
But there are other essential tools to keep your male lover satisfied, to give him the pleasure and attention he craves, and to keep his sex drive in a healthy cruise control when you aren't in the mood for intercourse. Those tools are right in front of you.
Ladies, it is time to learn how to use your hands.
When was the last time you had sex with just your hands? What are your first thoughts when this question is posed? Many women haven't brought a man fully to climax with just their hands since high school or college. Some think it "doesn't count as sex." Others are simply at a loss, claiming they don't know how. Or, you might think a man can do that all on his own, so why would you bother?
Your hands are sensitive, dexterous and capable of giving your man intense pleasure and powerful climaxes. With a little skill and confidence, you can fully satisfy your man and leave him feeling saturated with pleasure. Let's face it, sometimes the idea of intercourse or oral sex is too much. But you may be turned-on enough to kiss, cuddle and give your man a fabulous orgasm with your hands!
Today's challenge is to add this skill to your sexual repertoire, and then notice the benefits of bringing manual stimulation back into your bedroom. We're going to help you out by showing you that touching a man goes way beyond the "one-stroke wonder" kind of touch you might have used back in the day.
First, forget everything you think you know about hand jobs. Forget the image of holding on and pumping up and down in the same frenzied motion over and over again. We're not quite sure when this one-stroke model for touching men became the norm, but throw it out the window — men deserve a lot more finesse than that.
Touch your man with creativity and curiosity, and use your hands to create the widest range of sensation possible.
Here are a few essential tips to get you started:
1. Use lube. Lubricant will allow your hands to slip and slide over his sensitive skin. Lube decreases friction and increases sensation.
2. Use more pressure than you thought possible. Many women are scared of hurting the penis and use light, tentative pressure. Try using a very firm grip, using your hands to create a tight squeeze along the entire length of his shaft. Then explore the full range of pressure, from feather light to very deep.
3. Vary your hand positions. Use your hands in a variety of ways, from a full hand grasp to a single finger glide. The more variety you create, the more sensation he will feel, and your touch will stay fresh and exciting.
4. Change up your speed. Play with rhythm and speed to create variety. Think of it as music: steady rhythm with variety and unexpected flourishes creates more pleasure.
5. Think of the stimulation as a journey, not a race to the finish. Don't just find one stroke that works and try to finish as quickly as possible. Build up his arousal, then back off. Tease him. Create peaks and valleys in his pleasure. This will make his climax even more intense.
Once you give yourself permission to explore new ways of touching him, begin noticing his reactions. Pay exquisite attention to his responses. How does he respond when you touch ever so lightly around the head of his penis? Do faster or slower strokes peak his interest? Can you tell when he is really into it? What happens to his breathing? Does he make sounds to let you know when it feels good? By paying attention you'll gain valuable information about your lover's patterns of arousal and will be proficient in giving him pleasure.
Using your hands is also the best way to explore prolonging his arousal and delaying ejaculation. Your hands can quickly respond to feedback, allowing you to back off on stimulation before he reaches the point of "no return" and climaxes. After you gain confidence using your hands to pleasure him, begin playing with prolonging his pleasure. Work together to notice and communicate as he gets closer to ejaculation, and play with backing off and building up as many times as you can before he simply can't wait any longer and wants to experience his climax.
With a little skill and a lot of confidence, using your hands to pleasure your man can add a whole new dimension to your sex life. Many women find this to be an exciting and sexy addition, as they take control and are able to pleasure their man in a whole new way. All too often we forget about our hands as the amazing erotic tools they are designed to be; we are built to give and receive pleasure, and touch is our primary way of communicating with our lover.