50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex
ProConnect

Forgiveness: A Powerful Tool After A Breakup

By

forgiveness
Forgiveness is a positive step in moving on from your past.
Get the real story about forgiveness and how it can allow you to heal and let go of your ex.

We've all heard about how important it is to forgive. This might be a lesson that your parents or religious and spiritual leaders taught you when you were a young child. In most people's minds, "forgiveness" is something kind and beneficial. It is also expected. As great as forgiveness is, few people genuinely do it.

Sure, you might say, "I forgive you" to a loved one when he or she inconveniences or hurts you, but do you really, truly feel it?

More from YourTango: 4 Questions You Wish You Never Asked Your Partner

Moving on from pain and feeling betrayed is essential for the success of any relationship. Moving on from pain and feeling betrayed after a breakup or divorce is also essential—especially if what you want is to be happy and maybe even find love again. What trips up so many people is being able to move on. It's almost as if they are taken over by the anger, grief, sadness and other emotions. It's almost as if they can't help but re-live past events and conversations again and again. This might be what's keeping you stuck in your past relationship. Why You Can't Have A Happy Relationship Without Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a tool you can use to get un-stuck. Forgiveness can help you make peace with and release your ex and the relationship that ended...if you can get past the myths. Can't Let Go: How to Move On After Divorce

Forgiveness Myths:

"After forgiving, you have to pretend that you weren't hurt or betrayed."
"When your forgive, you are being gracious and kind to your ex."
"After forgiving, you now approve of what happened."

No, no and no! None of these common beliefs about forgiveness is true. One huge block that many people have to forgiving their ex for cheating, lying, saying hurtful words or simply not being a certain way is that they think they are sending a message with their forgiveness. They believe that, by forgiving, the message sent is that the past never happened or that whatever occurred is suddenly okay, even if it was actually very painful.

People also frequently think that the whole forgiveness thing is what one person does for the other person. This belief might feel especially averse if it seems like you've already given up and sacrificed so much for your ex who had an affair, lied to you and left.

Forgiveness Facts:

More from YourTango: 4 Game Changers for a Happier Marriage

  • Forgiveness is primarily for you.
  • Forgiveness allows you to let go of anger, resentment and bitterness.
  • Forgiveness helps you live more fully in the present moment.
  • Forgiveness frees you for new experiences—including a new love relationship. 3 Ways To Open The Door To A New Relationship

Next: The positive power of forgiveness...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

4 Questions You Wish You Never Asked Your Partner

By

If you've ever asked yourself the question: "Was it something I said?" chances are, it was. Communication with your spouse or partner can be a tricky business. You may have the best intentions and only want your beloved to move closer to you, but the way you choose to tell your truth and say whatever is on your mind can unintentionally cause ... Read more

4 Game Changers for a Happier Marriage

By

This year’s NCAA basketball tournament is nearing its exciting finish. If you’ve been following your favorite team to see who’s best at college basketball and hoping your bracket picks survive and win, you’ve probably been watching a lot of hoops. You’ve probably noticed something about these adrenaline-rush games... There ... Read more

How Pushy Is TOO Pushy?

By

Without a doubt, one of the most infuriating things in a relationship is when your guy gets quiet and won’t talk. You know he had a bad day and he refuses to talk about it. His response is, “I’m fine,” when you ask. Or you’re sure he’s angry because of something you did, but he won’t talk about it. You can almost ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
fishing

Single & Fishing For Love? Here's How You Can Rock The Pond

It's time for you to FISH with the hooks and bait that will bring you everlasting happiness.

Sad Dude

Is Being Scared To Be Alone Keeping You in Bad Relationships?

Getting comfortable with yourself will help you pick better and stop tolerating being treated badly.

Brain

Is this habit robbing you of a happy life?

Have you ever done that? Before giving someone or something a chance gone straight into judgment?

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS