3 Ways To Open The Door To A New Relationship

By

door
Are pain and hurt from past relationships standing in your way?

Gun shy...Jaded...Cynical...Damaged goods...Burned too many times...Afraid to stick even a toe in the water?

These words might feel apropos to where you are right now. Maybe you dream of finding the perfect partner for you but are terrified of getting hurt again. Perhaps you've given up your hope of being in love because what you want seems literally impossible.  Love can feel so good and it can also hurt so bad.

If you're considering dating again after a past breakup or divorce, then you may be moving hesitantly and cautiously. When you meet new people or you go on a date, perhaps you hold back and don't let yourself get too open or connect too deeply with the other person.

There's nothing wrong with being smart about dating and relationships. We certainly do not advise anyone to ignore the lessons of the past. Even in a painful betrayal, there are valuable lessons to be learned.

But, if you think your lesson is something like.... “I can't trust anybody” or.... “Cheating is unavoidable,” this is bound to stand in the way of you attracting the kind of partner you're looking for. These aren't lessons actually, they're beliefs that are rooted in lingering hurt.

It's not going to benefit you or the relationship you might be on the verge of if you carry beliefs like these with you. Trust and connection are essential to a fulfilling, close and healthy relationship. These are nearly impossible to develop when you continually put up walls and hold back so that you don't get hurt again.

Make completions with the past.

One powerful way to open yourself up to the kind of love you've dreamed of is to come to a potential or new relationship with as little baggage as you possibly can.

You're going to bring preconceived notions to a date and relationship. It happens. The trick is to acknowledge your preconceived notions and do your best to greet this new person as a new person...and not just a variation of your ex.

Make completions so that you can minimize your baggage and really get to know your date for who he or she is.

Keep Reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

8 Reasons Why You Should Have More Sex If You're Over 50

By

Aging can be a pretty serious business...but it doesn't have to be! It's inevitable that changes happen in your life and your body as you get older. Kids grow up and start having kids of their own. You retire or get closer to retirement. These are just two radical departures from what you've known, and there are more. Your body changes. Signs of ... Read more

3 Ways Your 'Better Half' Is Ruining Your Relationship

By

"Cheers to the perfect couple!" Heart-felt words like these can actually doom a relationship. Did you know that your well-meaning congratulations to a new couple could solidify dangerous myths about love? Beliefs about relationships were the focus of a recent study conducted by researchers at the University of Toronto and the results ... Read more

What To Do When You Feel Needy

By

It is a rare person who hasn't ever felt needy. You know the feeling. The urge to know — in that moment — that the one you love is interested in you, cares about how you're doing, wants to spend time with you and genuinely loves you. You want some sign that you're special to your spouse or partner. What's emotionally painful about ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS