5 Questions To Never Ask Her On A First Date

How you could potentially ruin your chances of a second date.

By Rebecca A. Marquis
Last updated on Dec 15, 2023

Photo: Getty Images | Unsplash

I’m often surprised by the questions guys ask me on a first date. Some questions are too personal, and some questions seem to better fit a census than a date.

To begin to get to know her without making her feel judged or surveyed, ask her about things she likes. Ask her how she likes to spend her time and talk more about your common interests. But be sure to avoid asking her the following 5 types of questions, as they’ll likely kill your chances for a second date.

Here are 5 questions to never ask her on a first date:

1. Don’t ask her any question whose answer is a number

This includes her age, how much she pays in rent, and how long she’s been at her current job. Don’t ask how much money she makes, how often she goes to the gym, or how many children she may someday want. It’s not necessary to quantify anything on the first date.

2. Don’t ask her why she’s passionate about her favorite things

If you don’t understand her point of view, asking will only highlight the disparity. Instead, focus on what you have in common. Once you know each other better, she’ll be more comfortable explaining her perspective.

3. Don’t ask about her most recent dating experiences

Nothing is more awkward on a first date than having to answer “When was your last date?” or “When was the last time you were intimate?” The only thing you’ll do with that information is judge her. If she says 6 months ago, you’ll wonder why she hasn’t dated anyone since.

If she says last week, you’ll think she’s playing the field. But none of that is any of your business. All you need to remember is that she’s choosing to be on a date with you, getting to know you. Focus on that, and give the relationship a chance to develop.

4. Just to be safe, don’t ask anything about her former boyfriends or relationships

Not “How long was your longest relationship?” or “Have you ever dated a younger guy?” It’s not the time to ask anything about any other guys. Give her a chance to feel comfortable with you (at least a few dates) before asking about her past relationships.

5. Don’t ask where she went to college or what her parents do for a living

These kinds of questions will come across as interview-type questions, ones on which you’re going to judge her. If you were an Ivy Leaguer or went to an otherwise highly regarded, expensive university, asking where she went to school may sound like you’re trying to see if she measures up. And does it matter what her parents do for work? No, it doesn’t. You don’t know anything about the relationship she has with them, anyway.