When was the last time you really felt touched? Or gave touch? I don't mean a handshake or a pat on the back when someone does a great job. I am talking about intentional loving touch, just for the sake of connection, intimacy, and pleasure.
It's such a basic thing, right? The ability to give and receive touch, and yet it is where most couples stumble.
How can you stumble in giving and receiving touch, you may ask? Isn't touching something that everybody knows how to do? Well, maybe... and perhaps not so much.
So many people don't know how to completely surrender to the act of giving or receiving touch. Many of us just go for mutual groping under the sheets, often not being clear about whether or not we are giving or receiving. In this ritual of lovemaking and sex, we often miss out on the pleasure of either role.
A great way to practice giving and receiving red hot sexy touch is to practice the skill set.
Let me introduce the concept of the "Three-Minute Game." This sex game is taught in many sexuality workshops across the country.
In the "Three-Minute Game" you get to chose whether you are the giver or the receiver for three minutes. And then you take turns with your partner. In those three minutes, you alternate with your partner whether you are the "giver" or the "receiver."
You will get to be both. Then, you take turns giving and receiving simple touch for three whole minutes. It goes something like this:
"May I touch your hand for my pleasure?" asks the person whose turn it is to touch for their pleasure. If it is okay with the receiver, the giver gets to truly enjoy giving touch for their own pleasure for three minutes.
Then, you can switch and you can receive touch just for receiving sake for three minutes and it can sound like this: "I would like you to massage my shoulders, please." If it is agreeable, your partner will give your touch for three minutes and you can concentrate simply on opening to receiving pleasure.
There are lots of ways to play this sex game but you can start out with the simple basics and learn a lot about your ability to really touch for pleasure and receive just for the joy of it.
Take turns within the boundary of three minutes — really learning how to experience the pleasure of giving touch for your own selfish love of touching, and then reverse the game and experience the pleasure of total receiving without worrying about giving back. The ability to give and receive touch, each as a total experience, is an important one to master as you yearn to go deeper as lovers.
Imagine that a simple sex game can help us really understand the joy of giving and receiving.