Going through a breakup isn't fun. People don't joyfully plan them for Friday nights (8PM Dinner, 9PM Break Up, 10 PM Bowling). But, breakups are one of life's unpleasant necessities. They are part of dating — sometimes a big part.
Odds are, you've been broken up with and you've also been the one who did the breaking up . Perhaps you've experienced this one or two times, or maybe more times than you can count. But, whether you are a novice or have been involved in so many breakups that "The Breaker" could be your nickname, there are certain ways to not handle a breakup.
So, the next time you have your heart stomped on, resist the urge to do any of the following, no matter how hard it is:
Make or Act on Threats
Some people are so shaken from a breakup that they will do anything they can to change their partner's mind. Out of desperation, this may involve threats. Some of these threats can be a bit juvenile—threatening to cut all your hair off or to tell everyone on Facebook that your partner gave you VD —while others can be very serious, such as threatening to harm yourself. Whatever version they are, threats tend to have very negative consequences. Not only does making threats drive your partner further away from you, but acting on them can have long-term damaging effects—damaging effects that, in the end, may be unrepairable.
Back in the old days, people had to walk up hill, both ways, through blizzards in order to peek into the windows of those they were stalking. These days, we can stalk from the convenience of our own homes. Through social media platforms, particularly Facebook, it's pretty easy to figure out what an ex has been up to and who they have been seeing. But, just because it's easy, doesn't mean it should be done. Next time you have the urge to stalk your ex online, ask yourself what it will accomplish. The answer is probably nothing.
Asking Yourself "What If"
Whenever anything goes badly in our lives, it's human nature to wonder "what if"…"what if this happened, what if that happened." But, the what if game will drive you crazy. The fact is what happened has already happened, and no amount of wondering what could have been will ever make it be. If you are looking to amend things, stop wondering "what if" and instead ask yourself what you can do to win your ex back.
Sit at Home
The feeling that your heart has been yanked out of your chest like a scene from Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom doesn't exactly make a person want to go out on the town. But, sometimes you must force yourself to get out of the house. Staying inside all day and feeling sorry for yourself will only perpetuate a cycle of misery. So, force yourself to go out and pretend to have fun. Then, one day, you will realize that you actually aren't pretending at all.
If someone you truly loved has dumped you, you may indeed be desperate, but there's no need to act like it. Acting desperate, particularly towards your ex, will not cause them to run back into your arms. Instead, it will do one of two things: it will either turn them off completely or it will lead them to conclude that they can go date whomever they want and you, because you're so desperate, you will still be there waiting for them. In short, desperation is like the color pea green: it doesn't look good on anyone. Thus, even if you are desperate, keep it to yourself.
Breakups are hard and many people muddle through them at their own rate and in their own way. The above, however, can assure you don't do anything that you'll regret; don't let loads of time pass you by, and don't let heartbreak break you completely. The above should especially be taken into consideration if you are hoping, down the road, that you and your ex can reconcile.
More about surviving a break up here.