Many women worry that they don't 'do' sex well enough. Worry no more!
Have you ever worried whether you have the skills to keep your man happy in bed? If so, you are not alone.
Many women lack sexual confidence. They are either worried about their bodies (before, during and after sex) or worried about the way they kiss, give oral, f**k.
You can satisfy your man if you focus on a few main areas. Here are 5 sex tips to try out:
1. Find and use your sexual confidence.
This is the number one sexual turn on for most men — a sexually confident woman. Please be clear that confidence and dominance are not the same thing.
A sexually confident woman is a woman who knows what turns her on, is able to communicate what turns her on to her partner and who is excited to be sexually adventurous with her partner.
To bolster your confidence, change your self-talk. Stop looking at all your negatives and address your positives. Learn your own body and your own sexual responses. Take the time to create a sexy mood, to make sure you feel sexy before you hook up.
If you feel self-conscious, redirect your attention from internally focused to externally focused. Pay attention to your environment, pick a scent to wear, prepare a snack for the two of you and focus while you are doing all of this.
2. Make sure you are turned on before you approach him.
If you are super-hot already, he will find that really exciting. Men love women who love sex.
Women usually take more time to reach orgasm than men. If you are already halfway there, it can mean more orgasms for you!
3. Be adventurous.
Be willing to try new things. If he doesn’t suggest trying anything new, introduce something new yourself. Let him know you find him irresistible. Consider new sex positions. Reverse cowgirl, for example, can be incendiary!
If you are worried that he might be suspicious about where you have learned something, get him involved in the planning. Get a copy of the Kama Sutra or if you love gadgets, there are at least 4 apps. Spend some time going through them and deciding what you would like to try.
4. Indulge in some role play.
Be a naughty girl or a saucy school teacher. Show your man all the different sides of you. When you roleplay, sex is never boring.
If you are worried about feeling silly, don’t be. Some role play scenes start out feeling awkward and then turn smoking hot. Start by talking about your fantasies with your man. He will get turned on hearing about your fantasies and he will be grateful not to have to guess at what really turns you on.
5. Make love to him with your whole body.
Take your time. Kiss his whole body from top to toe. Use your lips, tongue and even nibble him a bit (carefully). The skin is the largest erogenous zone we have.
Use your fingers and your nails to explore his body. Pay close attention to see what causes the best response. Does he like it when you nibble his ear, or suck on a toe, kiss his neck?
Move your body over him slowly. Let him feel all of you. Use your breasts, your bum, your hair to stimulate him. Be present in the moment. Pay attention to your breathing. Let your body move how it wants to and enjoy the feeling.
My best advice is to focus on your enjoyment, share with him what you learn and that will lead to his lasting enjoyment.
Dr. Lori Beth is an intimacy/sex coach and psychologist who helps individuals, couples and polyamorous groups create their ideal last relationships. You can sign up for her newsletter and find out more about her adventures on her website and check out The A to Z of Sex podcast on iTunes. Write to her with your questions by clicking here.