These are my hopes and fears — and quirks. Please still love me!
I hope you don't overlook me because I'm not that tall, dark and handsome guy that you always seem to notice. I'm on the sensitive side, but I know that when we meet our chemistry will be instantaneous.
Before we meet and start to make wedding plans, there is one thing you must know. I will have fears too. Not right away, but they will develop much later in our marriage.
And another thing — I might not tell you, even though you're my wife. So if you ask me if everything is OK I don't really answer, it could be one of these 15 things.
I need you to ...
1. Not belittle the other things I say.
I love writing loving things to you, especially since I can use Siri to help me. I just hope that you don't belittle the other things I say. It will crush me if you tear me down.
2. Know that your Dad may interfere in our fights.
I will ask your dad and mom for your hand in marriage. I may also lean on your dad for advice. I hope that’s OK. See, I never really had a dad who wanted to spend time with me.
3. Realize that I’m good with money, but …
I might want to go into another direction. It has also been a dream of mine to either start my own business or non-profit organization. It will take several years to get off the ground. I hope you don't resent me for it, and will stick by me. Your support will be crucial to my success.
4. Be loud if you want to get a word in with my family.
I'm very close to my brother and sisters, especially since we had to rely on one another for support. They are very opinionated, so I'm going to need you to hold your own. I'll come to your rescue if things get too heated, and I'll have no problem kicking them out of the house.
5. Not fake it.
I'm definitely looking forward to having sex throughout our marriage. I hope I will always be able to satisfy you.If you haven't watched TV lately, there are several commercials that tend to substantiate that I will lose some of that passion. Don’t talk about me with your girls or continue to fake it for my benefit. Let’s talk about doing different things. I read Fifty Shades Of Grey.
6. Be direct with me.
Once we marry, I promise, you won't have to worry so much about being secure. As a doer personality, it would be best if you are more direct with me. This will lead to us fighting less. If you really want me to listen to the whole story, please ask me ahead of time. I will listen. If I can't at that moment, I will let you know.
7. Let me have my X-Box, Wii and PS4.
I love my video games. It helps me relax after a long day of work. I promise to only play no more than one hour a day. Actually, you better make that two hours. Can we incorporate Game of War as one of our date nights?
8. Let me watch our first born by myself.
I know you don't think I can watch Junior, but I want to try. I want to have the same bonding experience that you had for those nine months, and the only way I can is if you let me. And besides, I love my little man.
9. Not turn into mother when it comes to talking with me.
Especially when you are angry with me! If you talk to me like you would the kids, it will piss me off.
10. Keep dressing sexy, at least sometimes.
I don't expect for you to wear a Vera Wang dress every day, but if you can surprise me with a new outfit from time to time, that will surely keep the passion alive. You know men are visual people.
11. Not cringe when I yell and scream during the football games.
I know you stopped going to the games with me, but don’t shake your head with I yell and scream at my fantasy football players. There's a lot of money at stake.
12. Respect me.
It will really kill me if you talk about me with your girlfriends. You can share any frustrations you have with me. I'm sure you will have them.
13. Not expect me to change.
My personality, that is! I'm a little on the quirky side, but that's the thing you love about me, right?
14. Not worry about my mom.
You didn't see my mom cry at the wedding, did you? It's because she knew her son was in good hands.
15. Trust that I'm not going anywhere until death does us part, which scares me.
It's taken me so long to find you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm scared to death that I won't ultimately measure up to your expectations, or that in the end I'm unable to give you the life that you dream you will have.
As long as you know, I feel blessed that you chose me as your husband.
Keith Dent is a blogger, a marriage coach, and a husband with 3 kids. He understands the journey a marriage goes through and offers solutions that can help any marriage, whether it be five days or five years.