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Spice Up Your Sex Life & Release Your Inner Stripper

Love, Sex

How to bring new excitement into the bedroom. Do a strip tease for your man and things will heat up.

Yes, this means you! I don't care if you're married, single or something in between. It doesn't matter if your butt looks more like Roseanne Barr's than Kim Kardashian's. Stripping does not mean pole dancing. I've taken a pole dancing class and you need to be part lemur to be able to climb a pole. Think Gypsy Rose Lee meets Madonna. It means taking off your clothes in a seductive manner with candlelight and sensual music in front of your man.

Stripping will boost your confidence and make you feel sexy. After you try this, your guy may be in favor of throwing a few dollar bills your way. Why do you think strip clubs are popular? If you ever go to one you'd realize the following: the girls are usually not good dancers, they don't have great bodies and they aren't drop dead gorgeous. They have confidence or they're very good at acting like they do!

Men pay ridiculous amounts of money to see women remove cheap nightgowns and pretend they're interested in the poor morons. It's a huge turn on for a man to think he's getting a personalized show — even if it's your guy who's in his Hanes boxers watching a South Park re-run. It makes you feel like you're hot, even if you haven't lost those 10 pounds on Jenny Craig.

You need to do a little preparation when creating a bedroom/strip club. No — you don't need to install a pole in your bedroom. Start by digging out the pink sequined lingerie you bought on an impulse back in 1998. I highly advise trying on the more technical stuff such as "thigh highs" in advance, since they may require a Ph.D in lingerie engineering.

I found out the hard way, when I told my man to sit back while I bolted into the bathroom to slip into something sexy. I pulled the nylons over my thighs, slipped on a black bustier with 125 hooks, attempted to clip the four dangling ribbons onto the nylons and failed to get one to stay attached. After 20 minutes of sweating, swearing and breaking a fingernail, I waltzed back in the room looking like a disheveled mess.

Consequently, I'm partial to assembling all clothing under a silky robe in advance. Make sure that you wear high heels. Don't worry, stripping doesn't require much moving around — trust me I can barely walk in gym shoes. A little alcohol is good to relax you and free your inhibitions. Note the word "little." Translation: Don't get sloppy drunk because there's nothing worse than rolling your ankle, screaming obscenities and waking the kids when you're trying to be seductive.

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