Romance Or Friendship? 18 Differences Between The Two

Before you cross the line from platonic to romantic, consider these critical distinctions.

Your love for him as his best friend is pure. However, your love for him as your man is more selfish and based on conditions. Selfishness clouds your vision with jealousy and bias. As his woman, you could potentially get on his nerves. But as his best friend, he would love you until the end of time. 

As the emotional beings that we are, men know women can turn on them quickly, from best friend to worst enemy. Perhaps the proverbial forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden was Adam and Eve crossing the sexual line between best friends. The energy can change when a man considers his best friend as a potential mate. In my situation, it was like the woman inside of my best friend all of a sudden awakened.

I began to feel a possessive energy entering into the relationship. Instead of before, when it was just me and her, she was now making demands and acting out of character. I had never noticed these hidden characteristics before. She had always been just my best friend. So, where did my best friend go?

If you choose to cross this proverbial line, you have to be smart enough to weigh all the possibilities, both negative and positive. Be honest and upfront with yourself. Sex should be the last act on your mind. Do not ignore any potential red flags observed during friendship. If you notice small problems now, they will become bigger problems later with the emotional baggage added in. 

It is often best to save your friendship, which can last a lifetime, rather than trading it in for a fleeting sexual moment. Plus, do you know how hard it is for a man to just be friends with a beautiful woman without wanting to sleep with her? It's really hard. In the back of every heterosexual man's mind is the thought of what it would be like to sleep with a woman who is his friend. 

You've heard the stories such as, "we came home drunk last night and ended up sleeping together." Believe me, these actions were a result of the desires and curiosities already stored in their subconscious minds. The liquor was the excuse needed to perform the act. Do what you must, but please consider the difference between best friend and girlfriend before you screw up your friendship. Here are 18 subtle relationship tips to check in order to see if you are ready to cross that line:

1. A man's best friend can call his girlfriend if he is in trouble. A man's girlfriend will not be offended by the phone call if she truly knows you're his best friend. But if she feels like you are hiding your feelings behind your "best friend" title and it later comes out, she will feel betrayed by you. So get ready to be on the next episode of "Jerry Springer" or "Maury," because that is the road you are headed down by crossing that imaginary line, without being upfront and honest with all parties involved. 

2. A man's best friend can hang out with his girlfriend or potential girlfriends. But obviously, if you're his best friend-turned-girlfriend, he will not feel as comfortable about you knowing about or hanging around with other women he may find or has found attractive. This will undoubtedly create uneasiness in your relationship.

3. A man can tell you about women he's interested in. Men often confide in their female friends in order to get a woman's point of view. Should he proceed or not? Telling his girlfriend about other women he likes may not work so well, unless you have an open relationship or these are women you both would not mind getting to mentally and physically know. 

4. A man can listen to a mouthy best friend because you are not emotionally connected. You can always hang out and speak up with your best friend and let an intense situation cool, with no love lost. It's not quite that simple if the person is a girlfriend, especially if you live together. Every decision you make becomes critical and one you have to face because of the physical and mental connection. 

A man can't run away or dismiss himself from a woman he is in love with. He loves his best friend, but he is in love with his girlfriend. So whether he likes it or not, he will have to deal with a mouthy girlfriend, which takes the tension to a whole new level.

5. A man's best friend can go out of town with her girlfriends or guy friends. This should be no problem at all if you two are strictly friends. It will not be easy, however, for his girlfriend to just waltz out of town with her girlfriends or male friends, without a fully documented explanation.

6. A man's best friend can have the spare keys to his home.  Girlfriends are usually too nosy early on in a relationship. For example, a man might be reminiscing by looking at an old photo album of an ex that he just happened to leave open while he was rushing out to go to the airport. A best friend would just look and say, "I remember her" and close the book.  A girlfriend, on the other hand, may want to know "who, what, when, where, and how?"  She may even draw the conclusion that his business trip is really a rendezvous with this old fling.


7. A man's best friend can have all-access to his personal life. Often times with a girlfriend, there may be some stories in his past he may never feel comfortable telling her about. Do not take it personally. Some men may be just too embarrassed. A best friend would just laugh it off, but the same stories may destroy his girlfriend's perfect image of him, e.g., "That's what you used to do?"

She might not be able to handle stories from his past, not truly taking into account that his past experiences, good or bad, helped make him into the man he is today, the man she currently loves. We don't all have perfect, fairy-tale lives. But it's not about who you were but who you are now that matters the most. 

8. A man's commitment to his best friend comes without the drama of being in a relationship.  A man who is in a committed relationship obviously has certain expectations to live up to, and if he fails, it is often fatal and filled with emotional trauma.

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Relationship Coach Daniel S.

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