Feeling 'Burnt Out' From Love? 5 Dating Tips For Singles

By

5 Tips To Avoid 'Dating Burnout'
If dating has become a part-time job for you, it may be time to step back.

"I'm just not going to date for awhile" is a frequent refrain I hear from my clients. There's often a lack of enthusiasm and resolve in the delivery, signaling ambivalence. You're probably familiar with the idea of burnout with respect to repetitive, boring jobs or highly stressful work situations. Fatigue and a lack of interest in your work are among the signs. Actually, you can burn out on almost anything, including dating. Here are the tell-tale signs of dating burnout and strategies to avoid it:

1. You've just lost all interest in new dates. You should ask yourself why you're pursuing someone at all if you can barely muster the enthusiasm to get ready. Or perhaps you've lowered the bar too much and your dates really aren't interesting. In either case, it's time to focus on something else.

 

Instead, rekindle interest in something you've put on the back burner, so to speak. When dating takes over all of your spare time, you push away other interests that help keep you calm, sane, and less stressed. De-stress by pursuing those other interests. You'll probably find your lackluster interest being replaced with new energy from success in other challenges.

2. You overthink each date. It's great to consider how the date went and what you might like to do differently next time. When you spend the whole day ruminating about what you should have said on that date, it's a good sign you're heading toward burnout.

Instead, be authentic. You won't have to think as much. Consider the people with whom you can be real. You can probably be real with your family, friends or at work. Spend a little energy thinking about what you can do to boost your enjoyment with these people. Then bring that positive energy to each date and be yourself — your best self.

3. You obsess about the dating scene ad nauseam. Of course you should put energy into any enterprise if it's going to be successful. That said, pouring over each dating website, your profile, where the best meet-ups are and what you need to do to be better at dating is probably a bit over-the-top. When you're staying up way too late to get in more time online just to tweak or search a little more, you're heading toward burnout. Keep reading...

More dating advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Judith Tutin

Life Coach

Judith Tutin, PhD, ACC

Location: Rome, GA
Credentials: ACC, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Judith Tutin:

Sound Familiar? 7 Common Reasons People Use To Avoid Getting Help

By

Many of us love the holidays. Perhaps an equal number loathe them. Either way, they're filled with stress. Visiting one's dysfunctional family, or not seeing said family, giving or receiving the right gifts, being with a challenging partner or feeling alone are just a few of the issues that come up for us this time of year. A surprising number of my ... Read more

Need A Boost Of Confidence? First, Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone

By

Why enter a road race? If I say, "Because it's fun," I can hear the groans already. Another reason I do it is because it's out of my comfort zone. I've been running a long time and running on my own is easy. But entering a race, sitting in my hotel room alone the night before, checking my gear for the upteenth time, wondering just how ... Read more

11 Things Lena Dunham's Book Taught Me About Life

By

Whether they're twenty, thirty or sixty-something, my clients often bemoan the unfairness of life. In fact, it almost seems as if they are frequently plagued with thoughts such as "I've been so good to him, how could he have lied to me for all that time?" or "My boss has totally got it in for me…no reason whatsoever…I ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular