So, you are dating a guy, and it's the crucial first few weeks. You really like this guy, and you are wondering what you can do (or avoid doing) to keep this relationship going and not scare him away.
The truth is there are certain things that women can do that will scare men away every single time. Don't sabotage a potentially great relationship that could have gone somewhere by scaring a man off right at the beginning.
So here are 6 dating behaviors guaranteed to scare men off that all women should avoid:
1. Trash Talking Your Ex. Don't ever trash an ex boyfriend in front of a guy you're dating. I don't care if you're on your first date or on your fifteenth date with a guy, don't ever trash talk your ex. Your ex is somebody you dated, invited into your life, and with whom you spent a lot of time. So don't talk negatively about your ex in any way, because what a guy thinks when you do this is that if he ever becomes your ex that you are going to trash talk him the same way. So, when a man asks you about your ex, the only thing you should say is “We are no longer together. It was a great relationship while it lasted, and I learned a lot.” That's it.
2. Paranoia Runs Rampant. Here you are dating a man you really like and the first couple weeks are cruising along really well. Then that first boys' night out happens. You start out as the cool woman and send him a text before he goes that says “Have a great time tonight!” As the night progresses, however, seeds of doubt start forming in your mind about what he's doing and you start to think “Is he cheating on me? Is he flirting with other women? Where is he right now?” So then you lob another text in to him asking “What's going on? What are you doing right now?” Even though he tells you he's just hanging out with his friends, you proceed to make a major blunder – you start checking up on him with continuous texts throughout the night. This paranoia will push a man away about as quickly as anything. So when you are dating a man and he is out with his friends, respect his “guy time” -- it will make you the cool woman he's always wanted to find.
3. Trash Talking Other Women. A huge mistake women make is trash talking other women in front of the man they're dating. For example, you are out with him when a woman walks by wearing a skimpy short skirt. What do you do? You say “Look how slutty that woman looks! I can't believe she is going around in public like that!” What you are doing when you make comments like this to a guy you're dating is telling him that you are not confident in the way you look. It tells him that you don't love who you are and haven't embraced your own body. You are planting a seed of doubt in him, causing him to wonder if he he should date someone else who is more confident. Don't trash talk other women. It doesn't make you look cool – it makes you look really insecure.
4. Fishing For Compliments. Stop fishing for compliments. This is something that can drive a man crazy. Here is a typical scenario: The guy you're dating looks at you and says “You really look beautiful tonight!” Ten minutes later you look at him and ask “How do I look tonight?” Another typical scenario is where you will tell a guy that you really like him a lot, to which he will respond by smiling and giving you a nice little hug and kiss. Ten minutes later you ask him “Well, do you like me too?” A lot of women will constantly do things like this. Stop fishing for compliments. Real compliments come from the heart. Allow us to compliment you
when we feel it. If we don't feel it at the exact moment you have expressed a feeling to us, just accept it and be okay with that. Remember, a compliment should be said with no strings attached.
5. Clingy and Possessive. Don't be clingy and possessive. When a man goes out with his friends, allow him to go out with his friends. You don't need to do everything together. You are still getting to know him. If there are things he likes to do that simply don't interest you, be cool with it. You don't have to be joined at the hip. If you are going to a cocktail party together, you don't have to be on top of him at every moment. If you see him speaking with some woman at the party, do not immediately run over and start grabbing his hand and giving him a big hug. Certainly don't do this all night long. You are being clingy and possessive when you do this. When you are clingy, we are going to want to get rid of you very quickly. We don't like clingy and possessive, so you need to avoid this behavior.
6. Pushing Friends On Him. Avoid pushing friends on us too soon. Women will be hanging out with a guy on the first or second date and say to him “Oh my God, you HAVE to meet my friends Jenna and Amy. You also have to meet my friends Phil and Anne, they're such a great couple and you'll love them!” A man hears this and thinks “I don't even know you yet – can I get to know you for a month or two before I have to go meet all of your friends and be put on display as 'the boyfriend?!'” We don't want to be “the boyfriend” right away. It's too much pressure. We want to get to know you slowly and learn what you're all about. Believe me, once we get to like you and get to know you we will be more than willing to get to know all of your friends.
Following these tips will help you get past the first month of a new relationship with a man and avoid some of the major pitfalls that can end a new relationship before it even starts. Be the confident and cool woman you really are so we have a chance to embrace you. Don't scare us off before we have a chance to get to know you!