Some men are just out for a hookup buddy... here's how to know if you're being used.
Men and women often want different things from their relationships. If you're emotionally involved with a guy, it's possible that he might not feel as deeply. We have all dealt with this at some point in our relationships; the fear or realization that he's just using me for sex.
Here's a bit of relationship advice and a few signs to look for if you're skeptical that he may not care as much about your hopes, dreams and personality as he does your compatibility in the bedroom. Some of the signs are easy to overlook, but don't discount them! Both his words and his actions are important to watch for as you decide if he's in it to win it, or just in it for a good time.
1. He only comes late at night.
Now, I know sometimes men will come over after a night of bar hopping with his buddies, but if he is only making that call when he's drinking and it is late, you should know he isn't interested in anything but a sexual relationship. A man who cares about you for you will want to spend time with you in the light of day, and without the lubrication of alcohol.
2. He always cancels plans with you.
You're looking forward to hanging out together, but as soon as you are supposed to see him, he sends you a text saying he has to cancel. This isn't just disappointing, it's rude! You are worth having someone show up on time and actually stick to their word! Do not make excuses for him constantly canceling; it's his cowardly way of showing you he's not interested.
3. He never takes you out in public.
Just as important as his willingness to see you in the daytime, a man you're dating should be excited about taking you out! No excuses on this one: if you two never leave the house, you need to start asking yourself why that is. It's fun to get lost in the sheets together sometimes, but you should also both enjoy a walk in the park or a dinner at a restaurant.
4. He tells you everything you want to hear, but doesn't show you the things he says.
Actions speak louder than words, so if he's just filling you up with charming and charismatic words, without proving what he says is true, it's time to move on.
5. He is standoffish.
He knows everything about you, but your knowledge of him is limited. Relationships are for learning about each other and seeing if you two are compatible. If he tells you very little about himself, he's either hiding something or he just doesn't want you to know him. Maybe he doesn't think you're compatible for the long-term, or just doesn't want to put in the effort because he knows he's going to move on before you gets too comfortable.
It's easy to ignore these signs, especially when you feel attached or excited about a potential new partner. But the fact is that if he's displaying any of these traits, he is just using you for sex and does not want a relationship with you. Even though it may hurt to admit this, you deserve more than someone who doesn't care about you.
Christy Goldstein, a dating coach and a dating expert, can help you with all of your dating needs. Christy's blunt personality helps you move quicker through the dating scene. She can help you with your dating profile, your dating checklists, red flags and more! Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org
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