Mother-In-Law Insists On Being Called 'Mama' By Grandkids — But Their Mom Wants To Refuse
This is bound to cause confusion.
Nearly every mother dreams of their baby’s first words being “mama.” However, they may not be too thrilled if they say it to someone who is not their mother. Especially if that person is their controlling mother-in-law.
One new mom revealed her dilemma about her mother-in-law overstepping boundaries with her baby daughter, and many people are angered by her actions.
The mother-in-law insists that her grandchildren call her ‘mama.’
Sharing her story to the subreddit thread, r/beyondthebump, the new mother sought the advice of other users regarding her situation. She began her post by revealing that she and her partner are living in her mother-in-law’s house with their five-month-old daughter. They had to move into her home after the woman’s partner lost his job when she was pregnant.
She explained that her daughter is her mother-in-law’s first grandchild, and naturally, she wants to be heavily involved in her life. She just has one problematic request. “She wants my daughter to call her ‘mama,’” she wrote. “One thing is, of course, the baby's first word might be ‘mama’ and if that happens I don't want her to be the one responding every time my baby says it!”
The woman’s partner has discussed the matter with his mother and has asked her not to make their daughter call her “mama,” although she is refusing to do so. She explained that they live in an Asian household, and it is culturally enforced to respect those older than you, especially if you are living in their home. Due to this, the woman and her partner are afraid to be firm with his mother.
However, she is already overstepping other boundaries with their daughter, including taking her into her own bedroom to spend time with her and demanding to carry her around when they go out in public. Now the woman and her partner are unsure how to lay down the law with the baby’s grandmother.
Redditors agreed with the mother’s concerns and that her mother-in-law was stripping her of a special moment.
“That might be her house, but this is your child,” one user commented.
“People need to stop doing this stuff. ‘Culture’ or not it's not okay to be bullied,” another user wrote.
“There’s plenty of things to call a grandmother and only a few for the actual mother. So she would be robbed of the experience with her baby just because of her in laws’ culture,” another user pointed out.
Other users noted that there were other nicknames that the grandmother could go by that sounded like “mama” including “memaw” or “mimi.” The point is, unless you are a child’s mother, do not ask them to refer to you as such.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.