'Homely' Bride Won't Let Her 'Humble & Sweet' Sister Be A Bridesmaid Because She's Too Beautiful
Low self-esteem should never compromise a sisterly bond.
Polina Tankilevitch / Pexels Physical appearances should never be the most important aspect of anyone's view of themselves, yet there's a clear societal focus on how people look, especially on their wedding day.
Of course, a bride should feel beautiful on her wedding day, but that's not the most important part of a wedding. In actuality, a wedding day is where two people come together to commit their love and life to one another.
But for one woman, she found out that appearances aren't everything, no matter how much society says they are.
A 'homely' bride asked if she was wrong for not letting her 'humble and sweet' sister be a bridesmaid because she's too beautiful.
A bride-to-be sought advice on a subreddit about her choice to not let her sister be a part of her wedding party.
The 25-year-old woman wrote, "I am a homely-looking girl. There is no other way to say it; I am not hot or even pretty by most people's standards." Yet her sister, Bella, "is one of the most beautiful women who has ever walked this planet."
The soon-to-be bride explained that the sisters have different fathers, and although she was jealous of her as a kid because they were always compared to one another, her sister is a "genuinely great person."
The bride went on to say, "She's humble and sweet, and even though she could've made a living off of her looks, she ended up going into social work and now works with kids in foster care."
The bride mentioned that she and Bella are close and that she was the maid of honor at Bella's wedding two years prior. When the bride-to-be's fiancé, Allen, proposed to her, she said yes, to her family's delight. But as she started to plan the specifics of the wedding, one issue got in her way.
"I thought about it a lot and decided to not have Bella in my bridal party," she stated. "I just wanted one day where we weren't standing side-by-side, being compared. I wanted to be the pretty one standing at the altar on my day."
Though the bride said she had gotten over her jealousy and had learned to accept herself, "the thought of everyone looking at her at my wedding" broke her heart.
The bride eventually told her sister she couldn't be in her wedding party because of her looks.
As expected, Bella was extremely hurt by this revelation, saying "it was really hurtful" to be excluded "because of the way she looks."
Karolina Grabowska / Pexels
The bride also revealed that she has a facial deformity as a result of her jaw not forming properly in the womb, where her mouth and chin are deformed. She has been in therapy "for family issues and self-image issues" since she was 18 years old, but "it hasn't 100% sorted itself out yet."
Unfortunately, though she works on her self-worth every day, her deformity has been a point of contention in her family.
"My family has never let me forget this part of myself," she explained. "I have cut most of them out of my life, but the trauma is still there."
While the bride was voted to be in the wrong by the Reddit community, many also said her situation was understandable. However, some pointed out the reality of what the bride experiences on her special day.
The woman's feelings of insecurity are entirely valid, but a bride is usually the center of attention on her big day.
While the bride is completely valid in feeling insecure, she shouldn't let those feelings of low self-worth ruin her beautiful wedding day. Ultimately, all eyes are on the bride!
As one commenter put it, "At the wedding, you would 100% be the center of attention. Nobody who cares about people compares the bride in the way that you fear."
Another added, "Your looks won't be what's on display that day, it will be love — the love between you and your future husband, and also the love of all the people in attendance to celebrate with you." They continued on, stating their hope that the bride will realize that the love for her sister trumps everything.
After receiving numerous comments on her post, the bride returned with an update, letting everyone know she and her fianceé made the decision to not have any bride or groom parties at all. In the end, she would explain everything to her sister, and apologize for "letting insecurities get in the way of [their] relationship."
Luckily, the commenters were able to talk some sense into the bride, and her relationship with her sister was most likely salvaged. Because although she may feel down about her looks sometimes, her sister truly and unconditionally loves her, no matter what she looks like.
It sounds like the bride realized she can't let her insecurities win, and that love, truly, is all she needs.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.