If you listened to the wedding industry, you’d believe that the money you spent on a wedding would directly equate to the happiness of the couples therein, even if we’ve already learned that the less money you spend on a wedding, the happier you are.
But most people are already well-versed with the fact that anything to do with babies or weddings is basically a sacred cash cow in the US. From the cost of the clothes to the food and even the venue, it’s pretty easy to walk away several thousands of dollars poorer than when you came in, and still need to pay for more stuff just for your big day.
Weddings are big, happy events that make people go a little cuckoo from time to time, and if you’ve ever had to plan your own wedding and get things together, you can appreciate that there are some things that should simply be left alone — those things typically include anything that cost an exceptional amount of money or are completely superfluous.
So, basically, everything that the bridal industry counts on you throwing money at. Like a bridesmaid reveal party.
If you’ve never heard of a bridesmaid reveal party, then count yourself lucky because real talk for a second here: bridesmaid reveal parties are ridiculously absurd and they’re kind of elitist, too.
Weddings are a time for two people to plan an event that marks a time in their lives where they’re choosing to dedicate their love, time, and attention to one person. It’s not about how much money you can throw at it, or whether you have ten bridesmaids or a fancy venue.
It’s supposed to be about the two people at the center of it, coming together and forming a new life. It’s about love, not elitist parties that force you to segregate and choose the “lucky” few friends that are going to be your bridesmaids while ostracizing all the others.
Bridesmaid reveal parties are ridiculous for the sheer fact that they miss their mark so terribly. There are guides out there about how to throw a bridesmaid reveal party that are almost as ostentatious as the wedding reception itself.
If you’ve just gotten engaged, the last thing you need to focus on — when you’re spending money on everything else — is a party that could cost hundreds or thousands of dollars just so you can pull a Bachelor and give the rose to a friend you want to spend your big day with.
Let’s not even get started on the fact that being a bridesmaid is, traditionally speaking, a role that requires money and the ability to rearrange your schedule to help out however you’re needed with the wedding — especially if you’re the maid of honor.
You’ll need to pay at least a hundred dollars for a dress (not to mention hair, makeup, and shoes), help plan any outings that the bride might want — like a bachelorette party, cake tastings, decorator meetings — and also prepare to spend countless hours in dressing rooms, squeezing her into a dress and complimenting her when you really just wish you could be home in your PJs, watching The Wire with a tub of ice cream. Oh, and you’ll probably have to diet, because bridesmaid dresses are, traditionally speaking, not very flattering.
That’s a big commitment, and one that should be given to the person you’re presenting it to in private. What if they have some work issue and can’t make time for it? Or don’t have the money for a dress or to throw a bachelorette party or to travel? What if they just utterly hate weddings?
How awkward would that be to attend a party that you find out is so someone can ask you a question that you'll just have to turn down in front of a large group of people? Kind of selfish, bride-to-be.
All photos: weddingchicks
Ladies, it’s time to remember that your wedding is not about the venue, the food, the dress, or the bridesmaids. It is supposed to be a time that you embark on a new adventure as a couple with the person that you love. It’s not about fancy parties or getting people to agree to be in your wedding pictures. It’s supposed to be about you, your future spouse, and the commitment you’re making to each other.
Feel excited about your wedding; be happy that your dress and decorations are pretty; and yes, be ecstatic that your friends and family are there celebrating with you. But if those are the things that you’re focused on instead of being with your fiancé the day of, then maybe you should reevaluate what you’re getting married for.
Don’t lose sight of the reason you’re there to begin with and don’t let the industry trick you into spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on superfluous, ridiculous parties that only help grow their already fat pockets.
Do you really want to start your marriage off right? Then put the money that you were going to use for your absurd reveal party away in a savings account or as a down payment for a new home. This way, when you’re settled in, you can invite all your friends over and have get-togethers as often as you’d like, without pressure, commitment, or expensive party favors.