Ladies, don't be afraid of your body.
If you are ever feeling insecure about your body in the bedroom, you are not alone. In fact, you are with the great majority.
The fortunate thing is that you have a lot of ways to make this work.
"First, I want to start by reminding everyone that there is no law that says you have to have sex completely naked. So if you’re distracted by worries that your body isn’t perfect enough, add garments to cover parts that make you feel especially insecure or draw attention to parts you’re happy with," says sexologist Carol Queen.
Just don’t be surprised if your partner does not see your flaws and requests to see the whole you because women frequently are much harder on themselves than the people who want to have sex with them.
"And if you DO feel this way, work on getting over it. Sure, go to the gym if you want, go on a diet if you must... but mainly, stop giving yourself such a hard time. People with body image issues very frequently also give themselves sexual problems as a result, since it’s a huge challenge to live with pleasure in your body while you’re incessantly criticizing it," says Queen.
But the best sex positions for when you're feeling insecure about your body are going to be the ones that emphasize your best assets. Remember that goddesses come in every shape and size, curves are sexy, and he wouldn't be getting naked with you if he wasn't into you.
In an ideal world, we’d all love our bodies, both in and out of the bedroom. But the reality is that some days we’re simply less confident than others. Before we give you sex positions to help you feel less insecure, here are a few things you can do to boost your confidence in the meantime:
- Love yourself. This is really a band-aid solution. Ideally, you want to take steps to LOVE your body. After all, it is the vessel that carries you through this big, beautiful life. You need it and loving your body will change your life.
- Ditch friends who speak disparagingly about their own bodies and others’ bodies. Their negative body image is contagious.
- Spend more time naked. Go to a nude beach or club so that you get the opportunity to see a range of real, beautiful bodies. You’ll quickly learn that beauty is far more diverse than mainstream media would have us believe.
- Move. Dance. Do yoga. Exercise. Walk. Learn to juggle.
Here are 8 sex positions to get you feeling better about yourself.
1. Missionary Sex Position
"Your partner will see very little of your body in this position, so if your goal is to keep the focus on your face, missionary is the way to go," says author and sexpert Antonia Hall. You can also stimulate your clit or add a toy to help keep your focus on pleasure, where it belongs.
2. Doggy Style Sex Position
It's been all about the booty for a while now, so own it by getting on all fours.
"You can support the lower half of your body with a pillow, which can hide things you may want to remain hidden, and angles the vagina so he'll stimulate your G-spot and A-spot," says Hall.
3. Cowgirl Sex Position
When you're on top you can sit tall and lean, or lean back while still distracting him with cleavage.
"It'll also allow you to set the pace and angle to stimulate your G-spot and A-spot, and either of you can give your clit some extra love at the same time," says Hall.
4. Stretched Out Sex Position
Whether you're on your stomach, side or standing, having your body stretched out will make you feel longer, leaner and sexier. It can also allow you the freedom to emphasize whichever body part you'd rather have your partner focused on.
5. Three-Legged Doggy Style Sex Position
With your back against the wall, lean into it, separate your legs, and hike one leg over their hip while your partner enters you.
"With your body pressed between the wall and your partner, you're being supported on both sides. You also have great eye contact with the bonus that your body is not completely exposed to view," says sexpert Coleen Singer of sssh.com.
6. Sex On A Chair Sex Position
While your partner sits on a chair, straddle his legs while facing him and lower down onto his penis to penetrate you.
"It's very close and really reassuring and, for the most part, the visual you present is simply your lovely face and breasts!" says Singer.
7. Face To Face Sex Position
To do this, lie down facing each other. It helps if your pelvis is slightly higher than his, so put one leg over his hips and move closer so he can enter you.
"This one helps dispel insecurities as it's basically the pillow talk position, but with sex. You're close enough to kiss, make eye contact and talk, but again, not so totally visually exposed," says Singer.
8. The Lotus Sex Position
All photos: weheartit
To do this, your partner sits cross-legged. You then sit in his lap while facing him, guiding his penis into you and then wrapping your arms and legs around him.
"This one gets your mind off of your insecurities as you're literally just hugging each other and just being in the moment," says Singer. Relax and enjoy it — it's like sex and a cuddle wrapped into one.